Patriotic Cowgirl

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T17:00:00.000-08:00

2007 came in with a bang for me...almost literally. Saturday night I went out to listen to my soon to be new town's mayor's band ( Yup, the mayor; he is a little older than me and is one of my good friends). That night one of my ear drums ruptured after I made it home. I didn't get any sleep that night, and felt so horrible that I went to the emergency room on Sunday. It felt like I spent ALL day there...

I have had an ear infection, and I assumed that the loudness of the band helped rupture it. They freakin' rocked. But at least now I have really good painkillers.

Did you catch that I am moving again? Yep, I am moving into a house during this week...leaving my apartment happily behind. Thank God. I hardly spend any time there. My new house is very conviently located catty-corner from my best friend Bree's house. Which is where I usually am unless I am working, at the barn, or out harassing men at the bar. Because I don't sleep much.

Ok, I seriously think it is probably the men harassing me. I am not seeing anyone in particular, and I don't care if I do or not. This draws them in like flies to sugar water. I don't know if it is the time of year or what, but I have never felt so pursued in my life.

Also, my new barrel horse comes to the barn this upcoming weekend. I am very excited; no, elated to compete again with horses. I have been marking all of this year's rodeos, speed shows, and barrel horse shows on my calendar.

There is some much to catch you all up on, and so little time. Hope you all the best!

Still Kickin'

2006-11-04T18:54:00.000-08:00

Holy Crackers, ya'll. My last post was at the end of AUGUST!

Perhaps that is not a bad thing, although I do miss everyone out in the blogosphere.

Since my last post, my life has changed tremendously. I moved into an apartment and moved my horse to a boarding stable located in the town I work in. This place might as well be my own barn, as I hardly ever see anyone there except the owners and whomever I drag along with me (mainly Bree). I like it like that, cuts down on the BS. Still having issues with stupid people.

My life has been revolving around work, enjoying my horse, singing, and football. Yes, I said football...the draw of Friday night lights and cheering on an undefeated team into the playoffs. Bree's son plays, so we are in over our heads in spirit beads, painted windows, and wearing shirts flaunting our dedication every casual Friday to the team who has kicked every other co-worker's son's team at the office this year. Hooah!

Speaking of the office, I went from getting promoted and having my own clerk to seeing several changes in staff...usually involving scandal that I can't even disclose here in the blogosphere in fear that it could endanger my job. Yes, a big deal....industrial espionage and embezzling anyone?

And I have been seeing someone pretty steady...and I am hoping that is a good thing. Wanna hear the oddest part? I met him at church. Seriously.

Hope everyone's life is going as peachy as mine. Love to you all - Cowgirl out.

If You Ain't First, You're Last

2006-08-26T08:38:00.000-07:00

Ah, the wisdom of Ricky Bobby. I just had to see Talledega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. Will Ferrel is hysterical, and secretly I am a NASCAR and other types of racing fan...although horse racing is my first love.

Still busy working...but things aren't as hectic now that I have gotten comfortable with what I am doing. My clerk is a fiery little red head that could use some sun so that her freckles don't stand out so much. She is just a few years older than me, and has adjusted to me telling her what to do. Although I am still watching my back, as you know how the office can be.

After a few more weeks, I will be in my own place. I finally found an apartment that I love...and my parents are still trying to talk me into staying on the farm. One would think that I am moving back to the big city instead of ten miles down the road in a smaller town than my hometown.

Labor Day weekend is quickly approaching, and I am psyched about it. Around here, the lake is where it's at. Boats, booze, bikinis, and bumbling idiot drunks. Somewhat of a step up from the White Trash Bash at the Lake of the Ozarks Memorial Day weekend. Count me in.

August With Gusto

2006-08-12T06:03:00.000-07:00

Oy. I really am sucking at this whole blogging thing. Forgive me...I really miss those in the blogosphere.

What you have missed in my life:

*My sunburn that is still peeling from my camping trip last weekend. Sunburns happen when you live in an office. Your skin tends to forget how to react to non-artificial light.

*On last weekend's camping extravaganza, I caught a big ass large mouth bass - with my hands. I fish with a spinning reel, so when I went to engage the wire bail that picks up my line after casting, I noticed somehow I had messed something up and pulled my line in with my hands so I wouldn't loose my lure. Sure enough, something big decides to bite when I can't reel the damn thing in. Bree's husband and sons are STILL talking about THEIR friend that caught this big fish with her hands. Cracks me up.

*My promotion that has gotten me a raise and a clerk of my own. I am still in shock about having my own clerk. I have taken to this industry like a duck to water. It's super fast paced and has me working 12 hours days sometimes 6 days a week. But I am feeding off of the energy.

*I will be in Nashville towards the end of September for a business conference...Shayna, perhaps a night of beer and karaoke?

Life is good. This is the happiest I have felt in a long time. But perhaps I am so tired, I don't know any better. ;)

Some of my friend's retired national champion show horses in Cali drinking a Corona.

Workin'

2006-07-24T17:31:00.000-07:00

Yep. I work...and work...and work. Being salary has it's perks, but the hours kick my ass every once in awhile. I have to work a few Saturdays in a row...which sucks.

I wish I had it in me to blog more and email...but after staring at a computer screen all day, the last thing I really want to do the majority of the time is stare at it when I am not getting paid to do so. Blogging friends - please forgive me. I promise when winter comes I will back to full blogging force.

Still loving the job...and everyone seems ok so far. Some of them don't like how I am starting out near the top of the ladder with being new to the company, but quite frankly I don't give a shit. If they were capable of doing my job, then they would be doing it. Right?

Have several big camping trips I am planning with the weekends full of being on the lake and trying to unwind. Labor Day weekend is going to be something else...every day I wake up looking forward to four days of doing whatever I want when I want.

~Random Thoughts~
I have been fishing more the last few weeks than I have in the last few years since graduating high school.

Bitches who sucker punch my girl Bree really should make sure they know who they are messing with. I really don't like feeling like I am back in high school. I don't think I have ever been so worked up and pissed off in my life. There is no doubt in my mind that I would lay everything on the line for her.

Men baffle me. The ones I am attracted to physically are either complete idiots or losers, and the ones I am attracted to mentally don't trip my trigger physically. And I have even dramatically increased the pool of possible candidates by taking this job...and still no prospects around here. Please someone increase the intelligence level around here. Because I don't want to do something stupid (catch my drift?).

I am in love with the Chocolate Mousse Silk Yoplait Whips yogurt. I think I eat three a day.

OK Ya'll...I need to go running now.

Still Alive

2006-07-13T16:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am alive. This new job has me busy running the rat race, but I love it. I'm really liking it.

Chicago was awesome. Everytime I go up there, it is beyond obvious that I am from, and I quote, "down south." I think Bree and I were purposefully making sure our "accents" were heard.

I didn't buy a single drink...actually, I didn't pay for much of anything.

I'll try to fill ya'll in sometime about whats up. But for now, hearing that I am alive and smiling will have to sustain you till this weekend. I am just too damn busy and tired to put up a good post.

Nozze

2006-07-07T07:36:00.000-07:00

The closest thing to a vacation this year for me so far is going to be this weekend...Bree and I are headed up to the Windy City for her cousin's wedding. A long Catholic wedding...and I am excited, because one side of the party has LOTS of money...so it is quite the shindig. Although I seriously doubt this Chicago family would say shindig, but hell, it's my story, so who cares?

Both of us have today off, so we are planning to leave the corn desert about 2PM for the hustle and bustle of the city. We are going out on the town Friday after eating dinner with the family. The wedding is Saturday, which should be followed by the biggest reception I have ever been to. Then Sunday morning somehow Bree and I are going to drag ourselves out of bed and go to church. Then home.

And of course we plan to make it back home for our karaoke tradition Sunday afternoon.

Goal for this weekend ~ not to buy any drinks....anyone want to place a bet?

A Must Read

2006-07-06T11:03:00.000-07:00

Please read this. This soldier is the fourth person to lose three limbs during the war Iraq or Afghanistan, and I think his story should be shared.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The sun rising over the coliseum that I have spent so much of my life showing horses in. It usually feels like a second home, but when I went there for a HUGE show recently, I couldn't help but feel detached. Very mixed feelings going on. But I know I made the right choice.

My fat and unclipped horse living the life of a pasture pony. I wish his damn forelock would grow. Hard to believe that I have not clipped his bridle path since he came home in December. Says a lot...I used to clip every week like clock work, and now he is lucky that I brush where the tack goes.

I am going to be moving to a different town by the first of September. It is time. I need the space, and it will be closer to my new job. AND Bree. I'm going to move my horse off the farm too, in hopes that I will enjoy him more. I have sold all of the training colts I had in with the exception of one, who wasn't for sale anyway and will be going home at the end of August...and I am not going to take anymore. Not right now.

It's hard to explain, but it is something I need to do. And I can't wait.

Lovin This

2006-07-05T09:21:00.000-07:00

I love fried chicken...and Gretchen Wilson.

UPDATE: I watch this video and want to give her some riding lessons...look at those arms! (you can take the riding instructor out of the arena, but you can't take the riding instructor out of this cowgirl!)

I'm Alive

2006-07-02T13:14:00.000-07:00

Yep, I am alive. Bet many were wondering. I haven't had time to even be on the internet...and my internet was down for a bit too (like a few days while they worked on it)...which sucks when one can't be online doing non-business stuff at work.

Like I would have time to do it anyway. Making a trip to the library to blog just isn't possible...unless it was open 24-7.

And that's not even at the new job. That starts not this upcoming week, but the next one. Yay!

BIG church service today...there was only one service, so it was packed to the gills. It's Patriotic Sunday around here, where we celebrate service members current and past. Meant a lot to me, so I can't even fathom what it is like for the old war veterans. I am proud to say I shook every veteran's hand this morning and thanked them for their service.

I want to thank everyone for commenting on my post below...how awesome are you guys! Sorry I have been MIA, but I am lucky to know which way is up anymore.

Off I go again...that's all I got time for. Happy Four of July early, because I am betting I won't be on this thing before then.

Which Way Is Up

2006-06-28T05:48:00.000-07:00

Yikes, ya'll! It has been awhile since I have posted...but the last one is a quasi-rant that I am proud of. I haven't had time to wrangle and reply to my comments, so please bear with me. I am also busy working on other blogging projects...one will be viewable Thursday...and the other will be a little later.

The concept that I deserve to be happy is something that I am still trying to self-feed myself...and it's working. I think I have let a lot of things go that I have been holding on to. Not everything...but I'm trying.

I have SO much material for awesome posts, that I don't know where to start. So instead, I am going to shoot for some interactive comments while I am finishing up my two important blogging projects.

What does everyone think of the double standard...where men are being men if they sleep around or are overtly flirtatious, but women are sluts or whores if they act this way?

The kicker is that I want to know what shaped your opinion? Religion, family, pop culture...

Quasi-Rant

2006-06-22T10:01:00.000-07:00

From time to time, people tell me, "lighten up, it's just a horse," or, "that's a lot of money for "just a horse." This is especially more difficult for me to bear since tragically losing those two horses in March. I still have nightmares and flashbacks...

They don't understand the multitude of emotions involved, the distance traveled, the endless time spent, or the extreme expense involved for "just a horse."

Some of my proudest moments involve "just a horse."

Many hours have passed and my only company was "just a horse," but I did not once feel slighted. I was honored.

Honestly, my saddest moments have been brought about by "just a horse", and in those days of darkness, the gentle touch of "just a horse" gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day. Or to keep living.

If you, too, think it's "just a horse," then you probably have little comprehension of phrases like "just a friend," "just a love," or "just a promise."

"Just a horse" breathes into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy.

"Just a horse" generates the compassion and patience that make me a better person...makes me strive to be a better person.

Because of "just a horse" I will rise early, take long walks, and look longingly to the future.

So for me, and those like me, it's not "just a horse," but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment.

"Just a horse" brings out what's good in me and diverts my thoughts away from negativity and the worries of the day.

I hope that someday they can understand that it's not "just a horse" but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being "just a girl."

So the next time you hear the phrase "just a horse" smile, because they "just" don't understand.

Where'd The Time Go?

2006-06-21T05:27:00.000-07:00

I thought I was going to be able to continue Monday's post on Tuesday, but obviously that didn't happen. Probably won't happen until later tonight or tomorrow.

Check out Central Snark...some of the cool people are amassing there.

I am seriously considering switching to WP...if I do, ya'll will know.

Shayna has been asking her readers who she should interview next...

This cowgirl needs to finish getting ready for work, so I leave you with this question: Have any of you been able to go back to being friends after crossing "that" line?

The Rundown

2006-06-19T07:18:00.000-07:00

Life has been busy, busy, busy. Not as hectic as it was when I was on the road most of the year showing horses, but still way faster paced than the way that I have been living since I moved back to my hometown in December.

Saturday night was the first time ever that I think that my father and I have ever really talked.

Seriously.

I sold one of the colts I had in training (yay! commission money), and the buyers are on the east coast, so they used a professional horse hauler to take the horse they purchased sight unseen to his new home. This hauler uses semis and special air-ride horse trailers that can carry 15 horses.

The haulers had called on Friday to let me know that they would be arriving somewhere between 10 PM and Midnight Saturday night. Whenever they roll through is when they pick up the horses...I've had horses picked up or dropped off at all hours; many times I have slept in my clothes, waiting for my "one hour to destination" call that tells me I better wake up, roll out of bed, put a ball cap on and pull my boots on so that I can go to the barn and start wrapping legs and double checking paper work.

I received my one hour to destination call around 8:45PM; the hauler is a buddy of mine, so I told him he could take his rest here at the farm...him and his father would also be able to water all of the horses on the load and replace hay bags. So I didn't need to wrap the colts legs for at least an hour after they pulled in the drive.

So I hung out with my dad on their front porch, drinking beer and shooting the shit. I figured, what the hell, it was Father's Day the next day. Plus, he was half-way lit, and actually being a NICE drinker. But there are reasons I can count the number of times I have drank with my father on only one hand.

We didn't delve into too deep of conversation before the haulers got there...talked mainly about jobs and horses. Mainly horses...how I was sick of the people in the society show horse world, and how I was thinking of selling all of my show clothes and tack. And that's THOUSANDS of dollars of equipment. But why the hell have it when I don't want to use it.

I just want to have the passion back that I had when I was younger, totally devoted to just my horse and enjoying the ride.

Something I have been wanting to do is to get a serious barrel horse to compete on, and he was all for it...even gave me the thumbs up on buying a new gooseneck trailer through the corporation...which I could do anyway, but it's nice when we don't fight over stuff.

After about an hour, two beers, and a handful of pretzels, I noticed the rig coming down the road, lights glowing from the windows of the trailer. It was showtime.

-Continued tomorrow-

123rd Post

2006-06-15T06:57:00.000-07:00

Yep, this is my 123rd post in this blog. Not impressive at all, but I thought it was cool that the numerical order was 123. Uh huh, doesn't take much sometimes to amuse this cowgirl...

Oy, I am hoping I have came to a conclusion about jobs...I took a lot of your comments to heart, and figured that I should just pick one, because what are the odds I'll be there in five years anyway?

I decided to go with my heart, and should be starting my new job within the next few weeks, when the guy I am replacing finally has his last day. I've been using a functional resume this time around, and I have to say, I LOVE functional resumes.

Excitement is setting in, because I already know a lot of the people who work for this corporation, and I will be able to go to lunch with Bree everyday if so desired. Plus, I can wear jeans on Fridays, and at this place, casual business wear and cleavage is in. Yay!

Until then, I am going to continue to do some graphic design work, and spend a few hours a day during the week helping out a friend that is a lawyer while his personal administrative assistant is on vacation.

And of course, I am going to keep three horses in training...but that is my limit. Three. Some people are not happy about that, but tough. They don't own me.

~*~*~*~*~

Good news...I have been invited to join the women's ensemble group at church. Why is this a big deal? Because I am the only twenty something to ever be asked to join! Plus, Bree was also asked to join, and we perform at a lot of big events, sometimes around the country. Practice is every Sunday after the last service at church (ours has several), so looks like I'll be spending even more time there.

I swear, Bree and I are salt and pepper shakers. Can't go anywhere without being asked where the other one is, or how they are doing. And honestly, we don't spend but a few hours a day together while we work out. With the exception of the weekends.

Most people that don't know any better think we are related or ask if we are sisters.

Perhaps we are.

Under Pressure

2006-06-12T08:44:00.000-07:00

So far I am still in the dark about who it was from the 101st Sustainment Brigade that was killed...my high school best friend has heard nothing so far. Which is a good sign. I pray.

Thanks for all of your kind words of support. I truly appreciate it.

~*~*~*~*~

I am too damn indecisive when it comes to certain things...

What job I want is currently at the top of the list. I said yes to one job, then another was offered to me a few hours later...and now there are two more. Four rallying for my attention...and silly me can't just pick one. Nooooo....... I have to make lists and weigh pros and cons. My main priorities are met by each job, making it even more difficult. I think I did whittle it down between two jobs due to location; just don't want to be to far from the resemblance of a life I am finally starting to have again.

But now my head and my heart are disagreeing about which job gets the final ok.

For such a take charge, grab life by the horns girl, I sure as hell could use a kick in the ass sometimes.

~*~*~*~*~

I feel awful....my friend Bree's cousin has this thing for me, and for several months, he has been working up the courage to tell me, despite his knowing how I feel about him already. Which is that he is a wonderful friend. He is so sweet, but I have no attraction to him. Nil.

After hanging out with us all night - drinking, singing karaoke, and making fun of stupid people - our group disbanded and headed home. Me and my girl were very happy and feeling nicely toasted while our DD - her awesome mom - was amused by our antics, as we continue to dissect the evening, laughing about some of the things guys say to try to get into your pants. Or at least a phone number.

Then Bree's cousin calls her cell phone.

He told her what he was going to say, then she handed her cell to me.

I think you are the sexiest woman I have ever met.

And I GIGGLED.

I feel awful, because I know how hard that was. He was being sincere.

(sorry, took the pic down)

A Cowgirl Update

2006-06-10T15:30:00.000-07:00

I feel like I am neglecting my family when I am too busy to post and keep up to date on blogs. I seriously barely have time to type this update while I am getting ready to head out the door yet again. I am missing my blogging buddies!

Life has me running everywhere...plus my parent's anniversary was this weekend - they are gone on a trip, leaving me, myself, and I to do all of the chores and two households of critters to take care of. That is two pastures full of cattle, their dog and cats, my dogs and cat, the barn cats, the shop dog, my horse and the three horses I am training, and all of our chickens. And on top of that, there are the critters my mom is rehabbing (she is a wildlife rehabber) and all of the damn bird feeders.

Throw in a busy weekend of parties, clothes shopping, and other silly stuff stacked on top of my usual weekend, and it's delightful. But I am not complaining...just feeling like I need a clone so at least one of us can get some sleep. Or so that we can take turns.

My kids won their game...and no one has called me a bitch yet!

~*~*~*~

Been a little nervous since I just found out a soldier from the 101st Sustainment Brigade was killed in Iraq Friday...one was also injured. My Ethan and my high school best friend's husband are both in subordinate units of the 101st Sustainment Brigade. I had to re-read that line several times...my heart sank and my stomach is in knots.

My cell phone is sitting in front of me, starring at me to call my best friend...but I am almost too scared to do so, as I am positive she has heard this information and is beside herself. What if I call...and find out it was her husband or my Ethan that was killed or injured? Or one of the guys I have been writing letters and sending care packages to?

Shit.

Still Around

2006-06-08T08:09:00.000-07:00

Life's been a little crazy lately...blogging has had to go to the back burner, as I have had job interviews and other parts of life pushing that to the side. Which perhaps is good. I've been keeping too busy to get into trouble.

The job interviews have been going well; have a follow up interview this afternoon for one of the ones I went to on Tuesday. Taking that as a good sign.

These are the kinds of jobs I can't blog at...but perhaps I will be able to get something together in the morning when I am drinking that first much needed cup of coffee.

Nothing else too exciting has been going on...seem to be talking to a so-called long lost friend in Ohio a lot lately. Loving that.

If I do get one of these jobs, I will be making three times what I am making now. But it also means I am going to have to do some major shopping for working-in-a-corporate-office-wear, as I don't think cut-offs, a tank top, and flip flops are going to go over well.

Name Calling

2006-06-06T06:01:00.000-07:00

Language is such a dynamic process. Everything effects it. From parents, school, TV, what region one lives in, and to what activities one is in involved in and everything in between...from how we pronounce words to what words we are pronouncing...all are accumulated throughout our lives.

Ya hay bag, where the hell have you been lately? A horsey friend of mine bellowed across the Super Wal-Mart parking lot. Yes, she called me a hay bag...must be some equine equivalent to ho bag. Although there is most definitely a big difference between a hay bag, something used to keep hay hung up in, and a ho bag.

A hay net...cheaper version of a hay bag. I know some.

A friend's Paint horse enjoying his hay bag. Bet he never calls his mommy one.

I am home getting ready to go to two job interviews today...and a stupid robin is still flying into one of my bay windows. Which it has been doing since 7AM...and I am seriously wondering how much drain bamage it is going to end up with.

Front Porch Sittin'

2006-06-02T15:05:00.000-07:00

A week ago, Bree and I were hanging out on her front porch, watching the one squad car on duty drive past every ten minutes. This is something we do practically every other night now that it is warmer. But this night was interesting, as she asked me what decade I would like to have lived in. This of course turned into an indepth and interesting conversation.

Her answer was the Roaring 20's, which didn't really surprise me, as she has an addiction of collecting hats and haircombs from that time, and there is no doubt in my mind that she would have been one of the most provocative Flappers if she had lived during that time. Although she would never have colored her blonde hair black, I could see her thriving in the speakeasys, participating in dance marathons, and fighting for women's right to vote. I'm sure I would be right there next to her, the salt and pepper shakers that we are. And I am sure with our personalities, we would be causing trouble. Or the cause of it.

Why they called it bootlegging.

The last hoorah before the Great Depression, the 1920's was a time of economic prosperity...full of good music, gangsters, bootlegging, and influential inventors and writers. I am sure if I had been around during this time, I would have been a songbird. Well, Bree and I would probably be an act.

My answer to this I made too difficult, as I of course wanted to make sure I got to choose what social and economic position I was in, as there were some decades that I would not have wanted to be poor. Like anyone wants to be poor. The Roaring 20's would be ok, but I think I would have loved to be in an era where horses were the primary transportation. Like the Victorian Era, or perhaps during the medieval period. Although, I doubt my personality would have been appreciated then. I think I would have made an awesome gun-slinging cowgirl too... but honestly I would just want to have Bree as my friend. No matter the decade.

So what decade would you have liked to live in? Any particular reason why?

Overflow

2006-06-01T08:10:00.000-07:00

Auntie Shayna has been blessed with a nephew.

Congratulazioni, Marina, for being the winner of Shayna's lyric contest.

Cooper is 21! So when do I get to take you out, Cowgirl style?

It was POURING yesterday...had quite the adventure spraying water with my truck while hurrying to choir practice. And of course the baseball practice was cancelled.

There is standing water everywhere. Plus most of the waterways are no longer grass, but flowing rivers through the fields.

Never understood why they were called waterways, until the first time I remember it flooded.

When I was younger, my brother and I would take our little flat bottom aluminum boat and see how far we could get in the overflow. Usually, we could make it all the way to our pond or to the creek. And sometimes we ended up in a ditch...

I miss seeing my twin brother all of the time. We did a decent job of entertaining each other when we were little.

Even in Jr. High, I was always defending him and threatening to kick anyone's ass who bothered him. In high school, he finally grew taller, and was able to fend for himself. Not that he was a wuss or anything.

Or perhaps by then everyone was too afraid of me. Geesh, now I sound like a bad ass.

~*~*~

Been spending some time looking for a different job...considering I decided I just might stay around here for awhile.

And I just might rent a house or get an apartment instead of living on the farm in my grandparent's old farmhouse. I'm starting to feel a little suffocated by the fact that my parents just walk in the door whenever they want. Technically, it is their house...but now it is just plain annoying.

~*~*~

Perhaps more later. Did find this interesting: Batwoman Is Back As A Lesbian.

Coach Cowgirl

2006-05-30T08:17:00.000-07:00

Tribewanted: Adventure Island. This looks like fun! Anyone want to go with me? Seriously.

Perhaps I should start my own version of this in the Corn Desert. It may not be a tropical island, but I bet I am more entertaining.

~*~*~

Today is the last day of school for my two nieces and one nephew.

I think I am more excited than they are, as I get to spend even more time with them. Plus I am going to coach my nephew's baseball team with Bree, and that alone is going to be amazing. Her youngest son is also on the team.

Both of us played softball all through Jr. High and High School. She pitched and I was a catcher (thinking woman's position). My team won several state championships, as did her's...therefore it is going to be fun seeing how competitive we get.

Besides, we are the only females coaching in this league. FUN!!! Who do you think is going to get called a bitch first?

~*~*~

Perhaps more later...it's nice out and I think I am going to go play outside the rest of the day...as I get to leave work early!

Although I have all sorts of good stories from this weekend. I'm not sure where to start. But I did get to try Aunt Norma's potato salad afterall. No more ass kicking...everyone stayed in line the rest of the weekend.

I think it is the prettiest here during sunrise or sunset.

Took lots of pictures this weekend. Some are good and some are good for blackmail. Heh.

Naw, I wouldn't do that...would I?

The Lake, The Salon, and Kicking Ass

2006-05-26T22:22:00.000-07:00

I have just a few more hours til I go back out on the lake, and the fact that I am sitting here, typing a post while masticating proves that I am addicted. And hungry.

Plus, I have a wonderful IM going with the Wombat about water and harbor patrol.

Cries of "OMG your HAIR" have been heard consistently since I had it whacked. People have been asking me if I am going through a crisis.

WTF?

Can't they see I've had a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders? Isn't it obvious?...I'm happy and smiling WITHOUT outside help, ie alcohol. I've already had my crisis...and I am dealing with it.

I hate when people just assume things.

But I don't have to assume that I am guilty of that. Everyone is to some degree. But blatant assumptions bother me.

~*~*~

Beauty shops are known for being where the Chatty Cathys hang out...and my hometown is no different. It's amazing what one hears over dryers and a radio semi-blaring classic rock. Everything from what Aunt Norma is making for the cookout on Sunday to who is cheating on their spouse.

I hear Aunt Norma makes the best potato salad.

The gal that cut my hair and had fun coloring it seemed thrilled I finally let her do my hair. As I said yesterday, she is a year younger than me...used to ride the same bus to school. She wasn't born here, so I like her better. She's from all over...ie Military Brat. Well, until she moved here during Jr. High.

She tells me that I was intimidating in highschool because I "was one of those girls that had no clue how hot they were, and didn't care or try, and that made it worse." Huh? Being a low maintenance tomboy made me hotter?

~*~*~

Not suprisingly, Bree and I ended up going to a bar that was having karaoke last night. We were sitting at the bar because the bartender was eye-candy and as flirty as we are.

And I almost kicked not one, but two guy's asses. Yes, two assholes were bothering us last night...one of them touched me...tried to rub my shoulders because I was tense because he was bugging the hell out of us - of course I was tense...and I jumped up so fast I knocked my chair down. Don't fucking touch me!

He spilled some of his beer, but it looked like he pissed his pants.

Fifteen minutes later, after the bartender refused him service, he was barred for trying to get his own draft. Piece of shit.

Twenty minutes or so after that, I am standing due to a beer soaked chair, scratching Bree's back because that's what friends are for. Well, not even two seconds later another asshole walks up and scratches Bree's back when I stopped to reach for my drink. And my hackles hadn't went back down from the first guy. This one wasn't quite as annoying or gross...Bree told him not to touch her, and he didn't hear her. She just sat back and watched me roll.

She told you not to touch her. Who are you, her girlfriend? Like I'd tell you. Now leave her the fuck alone, or I am going to have to kick your ass. Because I sure as hell could kick your ass.

He should have just walked away. But no. He grabbed my wrist because I was ignoring him, and then the next second he found his ass on the ground. You bitch! The bartender flies over the bar, and literally picks this dude up by the back of his shirt and his belt, throwing him out of the bar.

Everyone is hooting and hollering at my display of what-to-do-when-someone-grabs-your-wrist. Handing me my beer, Bree smiles.

Yep, life is good.

They Can No Longer Call Me Red

2006-05-26T17:30:00.000-07:00

My adventures of getting my hair cut has left me with a new admiration for someone who lives in my hometown. She is a year younger than me, and should be doing hair in some fancy salon...she has talent. I have never liked my hair so much.

And it is short(er)...I watched six inches fall onto the floor, wincing.

Which means it is barely off my shoulders. Scary. Never have had short hair since I was born. But now I think I look polished. I needed something I could style easily and funky...singing in Church and possibly a band (yes possibly)...time for a change because times are a changing.

Shayna over at Music Highway has written me a song/poem because I won the Song Lyric Caption contest...and I was blown away.

Be sure to play the Song Lyric Caption contest...yours truly is the judge.

Brian over at Truth Is Freedom has some wonderful stuff he has written in honor of Memorial Day; one is in honor of me and the rest of the Guard.

One More Day Til Friday

2006-05-25T06:36:00.000-07:00

I won the Song Lyric Caption contest over at Shayna's, woot! I am even more excited about being the judge for this weeks contest!

I haven't really blogged about anything significant lately, and come to think of it, I totally didn't even know what to say yesterday (Wednesday). I have been saying more in emails and IMs here lately. I don't claim this blog to be much of anything other than whatever comes through my finger tips on any given day.

I think I kinda like it that way.

The Wreckers - Leave The Pieces (click to play...I'm really liking this song so far.)

This is "Leave The Pieces" by The Wreckers, which is comprised of Michelle Branch and Jessica Harp, who used to sing back-up for Michelle. So now they are on a whole new adventure singing edgy folk country.

~*~*~*~

I can't wait... I have a four day weekend! Therefore, after getting all of the new graphics done for some brand new Impalas coming in, and updating all of the websites I do, I am a free woman. Until Tuesday morning.

This weekend is going to be spent partying my ass off. I need it. I have behaved lately...when I complain about coming in during the wee hours of the morning, it is usually because Bree and I are sitting out on one of our porches, just talking. And sometimes singing.

The unconditional love between her and her family is something I have never felt before.

After work today, I am getting a new do because I feel a need for change. Freaky.

Tonight I am going to go party on the lake, so I better tan right after work. I might have something to say later on, so stay tuned. I'll try to make it to everyone's blogs too.

Hooah

2006-05-23T09:45:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite blogs is Sgt Hook's. Many of my blogger buddies are also "hooked" on the Sgt., and now the pressure is on because I just realized the Sgt has called myself and several others in my corral talented...rendering orders to his readers to venture here!

Holy Crackers, Batman! (thanks Brian)

Shayna, I am forever in debt to you for the Holy Crackers phrase now embedded into my brain. It's been getting a lot of use here lately...

Here are a few of the other phrases/words I say:

Holy Crackers! (holy shit, I am in church and almost cussed again!)

Shit fire and save matches! (well, I'll be, isn't that something?)

Got a hitch in your giddy-up? (having problems with your horse? If you would do what I told you, you wouldn't be having this problem. Because you are the problem.)

Are you tanorexic? (are you addicted to tanning?)

That guy is such a fuck stick. (meaning he is an idiot, asshole, or dumbass...and I seem to use this more for guys that I find attractive...until they start to speak.)

Dude, you are ate up. (not performing to expectation, or someone who has killed too many brain cells...or both.) I seem to recall a certain drill sergeant that over used "ate up." Private, you are ate up! Do you have soup for brains!?!

I haven't seen him in a coon's age. (A long ass time)

Alrighty, now that I have shared some of my sayings with you, I want each of you to share one of your favorite sayings in my comment section!

Holy Crackers

2006-05-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

This past weekend found me in the best spirits that I can remember being in since high school. And I am straight up serious about that. I've been so freakin' happy that people are going to think I am on something.

My incessant sniffling due to allergies probably doesn't help.

Shayna, the wonderful rocker chick that she is, always makes me think about pursuing my love of music. Her words of encouragement mean more to me than she will ever know.

~*~**~*~

I am still in shock that I have attended church every Sunday since Easter. This past Saturday night, I went to sleep at 0300 hours, got up at 0530 hours on Sunday, and was at church to warm up by 0700 hours. Holy Crackers, I am going to have to start getting my ass home at a decent hour on Saturday night. That's some dedication. To what, I am not sure.

But I was more shocked that one of the movers and shakers of the church wants me to take over the musical part of the contemporary service because he feels I can keep the program growing because of my age, stage presence, personality, and love of music. Yes, me. I was so dumbfounded when they asked me, I couldn't talk. Me, replace the music director?

HOLY CRACKERS what are these people thinking? Do they not hear the ceiling strain when I enter the building? When they say "Open Hearts. Open Minds. Open Doors." they mean it.

I attend church in a decent sized city not too far away from my hometown that has services that are broadcasted on TV so that those that cannot attend can still get their helping of Church every Sunday. Two of the services are your typical traditional Methodist services, but my favorite is the contemporary service. Everyone sings, claps, rocks out to the music...

The idea is to get everyone pumped up before they sit through the sermon. Therefore, the music director starts the service, then the congregation shakes hands and says good morning, and then the band starts playing about 6 songs, depending on how long winded the speaker is for the day. And we are not talking hymns (although I love singing those too)...we are talking some good tunes.

I have watched myself on some of the recordings of the services, and it does look like Bree and I are having WAY too much fun singing. The two of us harmonize so well, it's freaky. And it is an awesome feeling to look out into the crowd and see people singing and clapping while we are singing. Absolutely awesome.

But Holy Crackers I am in shock that they want me in a leadership position.

Cowgirl Update

2006-05-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

I still can't blog about Friday. I wish I could, but I do not want the locals raining on my blog, so to speak. If I am too obvious, it will ruin the mystery. But the Patriot Guard Riders rock.

Being the corn fed farm girl that I am, I am very proud of this fellow young citizen of the Corn Desert who went to court after the governor called her a cheater and her 4-H show steer equal to a bovine Barry Bonds. The same man who wanted to take the state fair to CHICAGO. Hooah, Whitney, and good luck during this show season!

Don't mess with us country girls!

Perhaps more to come later...this cowgirl has been requested to sing karaoke tonight on a night when everyone and their brother is going to be out...a local festival is going on. Could be interesting; I don't know whether it is sad or not that the DJs invite me personally.

What do you think?

Also, have to sing on TV tomorrow at church...fun times. I am going to go shopping, because I am running out of non-cleavage revealing clothes. Can't show cleavage on TV...singing in contemporary service costs me more than being in a robe during the "normal" services. But I love singing with the church band, so it's worth it.

I'm still in shock that I have went to church every Sunday since Easter. And it hasn't caved in.

Final Salute

2006-05-19T12:26:00.000-07:00

"Down In Mississippi Up To No G..." By Sugarland clicky to play

Friday, payday, Lordy got to get away
Had it with the wife thing, living on a shoe string
What's a poor girl got to do just to have some fun?
All these years without any help
Guess what, honey, clothes just don't wash themselves!
Neither do dishes, neither does the bathroom floor

So, now if anyone asks, not that they would
I'll be down in Mississippi and up to no good

No more, what a bore, had enough, I'm out the door
Headed for a breakdown, had it with the small town
Gonna call Lisa, gonna call Carla Sue
Well, now we're gonna let it roll, gonna let it rip
Gonna get us a nice room down on the strip
Not that we'll need it, there won't be any sleepin' tonight

So, now if anyone asks, not that they would
We'll be down in Mississippi and up to no good

Hammer down, here we go
Runnin' for the riverboat
All you're gonna see is asses and elbows
Luck's about to change for these three queens
Tired of getting' jokers, deal us up kings

Hammer down, here we go
Runnin' for the riverboat
All you're gonna see is asses and elbows
Luck's about to change for these three queens
Tired of getting' jokers, deal us up kings

Snake eyes, roll the dice, double down and hit me twice
Cashin' in the big chips, gonna leave a big tip
Hotter than a two dollar pistol, baby, I'm on fire

So, now if anyone asks, not that they would
I'll be down in Mississippi and up to no good
If anyone asks, not that they would
I'll be down in Mississippi and up to no good

The day has been hard. That's all I got to say about that. I'm glad to be home where I can pretend I'm not upset. Because it's easier to do here.

I'm counting the hours down until Bree gets off of work because it's Friday, payday, Lordy got to get away.

~*~*~

I got this in an email from a friend, but I revamped it a little, Cowgirl Style. What do you think?

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard/bitch who made you sad.

If this isn't why you are sad, then I am all ears. I've got a good shoulder to cry on, and you know I give good hugs. Come here sweetie.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. Being a medic comes in handy. From CPR to an emergency cricothyroidotomy with a ball point pen, you're covered. Hooah.

3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid. The bigger the smile, the more I wanna know. Or do I?

4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get if it didn't scare me. After consoling you, that is. Unless we are scared together, then it becomes a horrific story to share and reenact.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

6. When you are confused - I will use little words. Because when I said precipitously, you thought I meant it was raining outside.

7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have. The girl next door in me will bring you homemade chicken noodle soup (or a veggie soup for my fellow vegetables) and knock on the door. Better get your ass off the couch and get it while it is hot. There's crackers too.

If you are sick due to too much liquor, I will hold your hair and/or take care of you. Because I expect the same in return. And if you pass out on the bathroom floor, I will never talk about it, because I've been there too. There's proof.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. Then I will pick you back up. Unless you fell in something in the pasture. Then you are on your own.

This is my oath... I pledge it till the end. Why? You may ask, because you are my friend.

Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel, lol. Oh, and a good friend will bail you out of jail. A really good friend will be sitting there next to you laughing.

Not Wearing Black To This One

2006-05-18T09:15:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I have a funeral to attend for a fallen soldier. Just after welcoming home the majority of the troops that I had known in Iraq...after thoughts ran through my head that no one had died there that I personally knew.

But now I can no longer say that.

Fears for my high school best friend's husband and my personal Ethan have been revisited...although I know they are doing their best to come back in September.

There are others that I know deployed...and I pray for their safe return.

My daily blog reading has left me still thinking...which it usually does. But this time it's something I relate to on a personal level. With this, pia has again made me step back and think about the world beyond Iraq, gas prices, Presidential disapproval ratings, taking my turn guarding the border, and media infused crap.

Parents attempting to live their lives and leave a legacy that isn't theirs through children disappoint me. I have been, excuse me, still am one of those children...and will never be one of those parents.

I believe we live our own legacy. Touching the lives of the children I am blessed with, no matter whose DNA they share, is what I consider as a part of my legacy. What they do with their own lives is their legacy. You are your own legacy...however, I strongly believe that influencing the future can be a part of your legacy.

Every child I have given riding lessons to, every challenged person I have watched heal through the touch of a horse...that is my legacy. And I am just getting started.

I promised my friend I would give his horse crazy kid riding lessons this summer, and damn it, if I have to go pick her up and take her home, she is going to ride. Her daddy finally decided she was responsible enough...and was hoping to buy her a horse for Christmas if she proved she was worthy. And if she is, I will bend over backwards to figure out a way to make that happen. Because her daddy died fighting to protect the future, leaving his own legacy.

And this makes four.

SHAYNA'S BACK!

So that's where Hoffa went? I knew he was last seen at the Machus Red Fox restaurant, but now the FBI is digging around a horse farm, Hidden Dreams Farm, for him.

New Look

2006-05-17T14:56:00.000-07:00

Thought I would try out some different ideas as far as the template goes. Still working on it...will have to finish it later, as I need to start getting ready to leave. I have choir practice tonight. Yipee!

"M" is for Meme

2006-05-16T11:40:00.000-07:00

I've been letter tagged by the Barngoddess. She gave me the letter "M." This is how it works if you desire to play too - in your comment to this post, ask for a letter, which I will give you as a reply to your comment. Then write ten words beginning with that letter, and explain the story or meaning or relevance of those words to you...then pass out some letters too!

1. Music: I love music. Music is my mantra. I am always singing, dancing, or writing music. Even when I am working horses, there is a radio going. When I am driving, the radio is cranked and I am rockin' out.

2. Martingale: A piece of horse training equipment that I can't live without. I only use leather ones, and I have three different kinds that I use. And I can't stand when people incorrectly use martingales...

That's a martingale that pretty horse is wearing around his neck.

3. Margarita: A drink that I can't resist when eating Mexican cuisine. And I rarely resist Mexican cuisine. I prefer frozen ones, and the newest one I tried was a Midori Melon Margarita...talk about alliteration. And it was yummy.

4. Money: The more I make, the more I spend. It's not always about the money; but money is everything. So realistically it is. Money is not the only answer, but it makes a difference. ~ Barack Obama.

5. Mascara: Something I rarely leave the house without applying. Mascara is my friend. There are a multitude of things I like to lift and separate...reference modesty, below.

6. Modesty: A word that only applies to me occasionally. Modesty; the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it. It's the cowgirl way.

7. Maracas: God wouldn't have given you maracas if He didn't want you to shake 'em. Refererence modesty, above.

8. Men: Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. Well...on second thought, yes you can, if one so desires! Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good ones are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon.

9. My: a word that precedes alot of words that are "me." Sometimes I wear MY heart on MY sleeve. MY body, MY choice. That's MY preogative. Get off MY ass!

10. More is most definitely more. More eyeliner, more mascara, more cleavage, more rips in the jeans, more hair spray, more heels, more singing, more vodka, more dancing, more outrage. DON'T DREAM IT, BE IT. That's hard to accomplish if less is more.

A Non-Internet Weekend

2006-05-15T07:58:00.000-07:00

I would like to see you and Shayna trying to out drink each other. That would be a sight. ~ Chris

Chris, I think this is a challenge I am up to. How 'bout you Shayna? We could probably sell tickets and help fund your little one's future college education...

Happy Mother's Day to all of my beloved blogger moms. This well wishing is fashionably late...but filled with my wholesome Midwestern country girl love.

Ok, I'm not entirely buying the wholesome imagery either.

This has been the first weekend in quite a few months that I haven't been online at least twice Saturday or Sunday...even at drill. I am taking that as a good sign. Except my internet was down on Sunday...so I am not sure if that truly counts. No one was holding me ransom, though.

A strip club burned down not too far from here Friday morning...and I am sure it was no accident. Someone my age died in the fire...I would elaborate, but that would make it too easy for the local yokels to figure out who I am. The death aside, I think that this would have been ironic if it had happened on a Sunday morning...

"Thou shalt not run with scissors" was never a commandment taught in Sunday school. Brings a new face to "cutting edge" Christianity..." this cowgirl over at Sar's today.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Speaking of fire, Saturday was an interesting adventure. Especially since it sprinkled off and on most of the day, well into the night. Of course the cowboy crush accepted my invitation, and tried his darndest to be sociable and cute. The sociable part he had to work at, but the cute part he owned. Turns out that he has more brain cells than I thought. He graduated from the same university that I did, and passed my initial criteria. He doesn't live with his parents, he is employed, and he isn't younger than me. I believe Wombat is the only guy younger than me that I could tolerate...I usually like them...until they talk.

Seems that these credentials along with my other must haves (taller than me, good teeth, and not related) he met, so I told him I would go out with him to dinner sometime this week...and he actually asked me this time. So perhaps he isn't too shy...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATRICK, aka Esoteric Wombat! Cheers!

Drink, Don't Drive

2006-05-12T13:57:00.000-07:00

Absolutely brilliant marketing strategy. Loved this t-shirt's message. Amazing what one finds on road trips at truck stops. Drink beer, it's cheaper than gas! Oy, like I need an excuse to drink beer? The price of gas certainly is not one of them. But it does make for a cool t-shirt.

And I just had to share this picture as proof that I can out drink Bree. Poor thing. She just couldn't keep up with me...but there is also proof of the opposite. See, we trade off drunk nights if it's just the two of us going out. Only one of us is allowed to get trashed, so that the other can be the babysitter. Works perfectly. And no we don't get drunk ALL of the time; it's only occasionally. BTW, this picture is from my birthday weekend.

If you missed my post on Thursday, it's worthwhile reading material. Kyahgirl, that cowboy never got the nerve to ask me out, even after a few beers. Therefore, I invited him to the cook out tomorrow at Bree's sister's place. So I am certain that will be entertaining. Hopefully in a multitude of ways. If you catch my drift.

Plus, they are going to have a bonfire. And I am a pyro.

Fire, fire, fire...heh, heh, heh (points to anyone who can tell me who I am imitating).

Want proof of why Cooper and Wombat are wonderful? Masticate on this.

Sgt Lori has a must read. "AT EASE" had me laughing hysterically! OMG to be a fly on the wall...hooah!

What's In A Name

2006-05-11T14:00:00.000-07:00

It's true...I'm a hick. Why announce the obvious? Because sometimes I think I forget...or maybe others forget. Just because I ride those "fancy horses" now, doesn't mean I don't enjoy the company of a bunch of guys whose idea of grooming their horse is to make sure there is no mud where the saddle goes. It's not like I am there to check out their horses, right?

Last night I went to a roping. What's a roping? Where a bunch of cowboys and wannabes hang out, practice roping, and drink beer, usually with AC/DC or something similar blaring in the background. It rained last night, so of course they practiced indoors. Everyone that has a horse hangs out on the end of the arena with the chute, sitting on the horses like they are barcaloungers. Everyone else sits in the bleachers and hands out beer.

I refuse to be the "beer whench," so I offered to ride my cowboy crush's young cow horse around that he had brought along for the road trip. My half-broke barcalounger was a cute little blue roan colt that my cowboy crush calls "the blue roan." Seriously. Poor horse needs a name! So name the damn thing then!

I got bored(they aren't much for intellectually stimulating conversation), so I decided I would go lope some circles on the far end of the arena to see what I thought about the little blue roan. Plus it gave me a chance to hear them talk about me when they thought I couldn't hear them. HA! Silly cowboys, I have ears like a fox...hehehehe.

The little blue roan did pretty good; my cowboy crush had done a good job starting him. Then it began raining like hell. On a metal roofed barn. And I was on a half broke barcalounger. Yep, I'm glad I always check the saddle before I get on, because I needed it to be tight while the little blue roan panicked. It sounded like World War III was going on to that little guy, so it would be a bad time for the saddle to slip.

He was so little, it was like staying on a snake. Initially, I thought I would just let him calm down, and not do too much handling, because I could easily make Mr. Wobbly Legs fall. He hadn't exactly earned his sea legs yet. Not to mention the lack of brakes or knowledge of the word WHOA.

Easy, son...it's ok. I tried to talk him into calming down. CRACK! BOOM! The little blue roan scooted across the arena, where I steered him towards the wall. Whoa. Easy, son. Whoa. He slowed down, and I started flexing him to the right, asking him to touch his nose to my boot. This is my form of an emergency brake; works from the left too. I teach all of my horses to "whoa" this way, because I don't want to pull on both reins and teach them to brace against my hands...I always want them to give, be supple. (Ok, enough trainer 101).

After a few more successful whoa processes, the loud storm passed, and I jogged the little blue roan back to hang out with the guys just in time to hear they had been placing bets. You owe me 20 bucks, pay up. She stayed on. My cowboy crush had his hand extended to Mr. Stupidity on the ugly sorrel. Standing up in his stirrups, Mr. Stupidity grabs probably his last $20 until he gets paid Friday, hands it to my cowboy crush, then sits down. When your Wranglers are too tight, it's hard to get money out of your pocket sitting down.

I put the little blue roan in park next to my cowboy crush's pretty palomino, and decided to play with his head. So to speak.

What the fuck? Are you guys betting on me? Uh huh, but I knew you would stay on. That's why I put you on the blue roan anyways. Thanks for giving him some schooling.

Yeah, I heard this is the first time he's ever been out of the round pen, and the fifth time anyone's been up on him. Thanks, shit head. I reached across and pulled the brim down on his ratty Illini ball cap. My cowboy crush looked panicked now, as he realized I heard everything they were saying about me while I was riding at the other end of the arena. To sum it up, it was pretty much about how he didn't know how to ask me out, and about how I was "too good" for any of the guys there. And about how the colt I was riding was greener than Spring grass after a thunderstorm. And how I had a nice ass...

So....um...didya name the colt? My cowboy crush mumbled, adjusting his hat back to it's normal, slightly crooked position.

Sure did. I'm naming him after his owner. What's that? Shit head.

Two More Days Til Friday

2006-05-10T12:31:00.000-07:00

Appropriate bumper sticker for a member of the manure movers of America...I am a proud member. Right Minka?

Life has been precipitously pulling at me to stay put here in Cornland. Bree and her family have me feeling so re-newed. And loved. Which makes me think I should love myself. I am still thinking about the job in Georgia...but I don't know if I want to run now. Because that was what I was wanting to do. Runaway from myself. And that is impossible to accomplish.

But sometimes alcohol helps. (Editor Cowgirl's note - please don't take this as me being an alcoholic or something...I'm not. Just saying that going out sometimes is my way to turn the rest of the world off. Ok, I feel better. Continue reading.)

Jesus, Take The Wheel by Carrie Underwood

Reading Shayna's post reminds me why I do believe in God, even if I have had my battles with the hypocrisy and commercialism of religion and churches. Life has flashed before my eyes, leaving me thinking that this was my last moment on Earth, to be saved by something greater than chance. And most of the time, I will share, involved horses.

I have a sign that says "Never ride faster than your guardian Angel can fly." That's a saying that I recollect hearing when I was knee high to a grasshopper. I always say a small prayer to myself everytime I step on to a horse for the first time; and I also thank my God when I place my feet on the ground under my own accord.

When I don't, I cuss like a sailor. Something that is not so good to do in front of clients. But it happens. Then they usually die laughing.

Riding horses is a spiritual thing. I don't ride to control, I ride to connect souls. Call me weird, or whatever, but I am.

Horses have been my saving grace, despite the close calls. Many times they are MY Angels. And sometimes I am theirs. Anytime I have a colicky or sick horse, I say a prayer. I have spent my life praying, because sometimes that's all I can do. Without that faith, without hope, there is no way I could have perservered during trying times.

My views of religion and spirituality are skewed; I have touched on that briefly while blogging. It's hard to explain, but perhaps also doesn't need explaining.

Speaking of horses, seems I am the "go to" girl for taking to peruse horses for sale. Probably because I am stupid enough to climb on anything. Plus, I am usually cheap labor; right now I'll go if you buy me breakfast/lunch/dinner according to the time frame and a Dr. Pepper for the ride there.

An older lady friend of mine wanted me to try out an OTT TB (off the track thoroughbred) that was being reschooled to be a hunter/jumper. She is looking for a "step up" horse for her granddaughter. He's cute, but needs some work. Needs to learn to use his back, and needs some "biting" work to develop his hindquarters and teach him to drive off his motor instead of pulling himself around with his front legs.

He passes...but my suggestion is training. Could be a sharp horse, but he needs some groceries. For the money, he is worth the risk. His front legs have been "fired"; pin firing is done on mainly racehorses when chronic inflammation happens, like shin splints. But he is sound, so he's good to go. Five bucks says he will end up here...

A Photo Journey In Cornland

2006-05-09T09:20:00.000-07:00

ADDENDUM:

Major John of the Miserable Donuts let us know that the Inner Prop recieved the "Pimp Hand Reaching to Slap You" Humanitarian Service Medal. I have Moosetracks in the freezer, if you want to come over and celebrate.

Coop on Virgin Pledges, Contra Contrapception and…My School Sucks. The title is self-sufficient.
The ZenFo Pro is back in action.

Need a laugh? Check out the captions entered in Sar's Tell Me Tuesday contest so far...OMG there has got to be something in the water.

I just love pia's writing. Makes me want to be a writer.

Life is just so entertaining here in the Corn Desert. So entertaining, that I decided to share an adventure with you. Please BYOB and enjoy. All I ask is that you don't liter and don't leave any containers in the bed of my truck. Occifers (yes, occifers) tend to frown upon that.

What a wonderful flat background in this picture. Pretty soon, there will be nothing but corn. This guy was not happy about me picking up this live trap... but hey, he was eating the cat food!
Plus, he is lucky I "havahart," as there are other ways to stop thieves...he was just lucky he was a little guy and still cute. His fortune could have been worse if Dad had seen him...

I even gave him water. Guess this dish is a barn cat dish now...what a sap I am.

But, hey, he has a cute little masked face. Even if his face looks slightly caddywhompus...

He was a little pissed off about the truck ride. I took this after jumping on the tailgate of my truck...didn't really want him trying to get me after I opened the trap. Rabies shots hurt like hell. But I ended up having to "help" him out, because all he did was stare at me, while his freedom awaited him...

This is an all too familiar sight around here. See how he has to make sure the arms of the disc miss the stoplights? I need to wash the windshield...look at the bug guts!

Still behind the tractor...I've learned that sometimes it is better to let some of the hot rodders pass first... there is always some jerk that flies from the back of the line, just asking for trouble. So I putz along till it is safe...

Somehow this part of my windshield isn't as nasty looking...yes, I am looking at the road!

My Old Kentucky Home

2006-05-08T07:31:00.000-07:00

Poor J., I don't think he had any idea what he got himself into...bet that is why we made it there in less than four hours...

If you can't deal with only stopping one time during this trip to potty, then you sure as hell better not be drinking any more of that soda. One stop; that's all you get. Of course, he ended up stopping to "potty" before any of us even had to go...

Do you girls NOT know any of these songs? while listening to us sing in surround sound. His granddaughter was sitting in the front, while Bree and I were in the back harmonizing...

Why the hell aren't you girls startin' a band? You should be cuttin' records in Nashville, so that I can eject the CD when I get tired of hearin' ya. Ok, they're called albums now, J....

Somewhere around Indianapolis, our country station fizzles out, so we settle on a top 40 type station. Which was ok with J. - well, until they started playing rap. You girls call that crap music? My dogs howling sounds better than that!

J.'s funniest moment during the trip there was after listening to I'm N Luv (Wit A Stripper) by T-Pain. Damn strippers only listen to him sing because he pays them. J.!

J. and I left the sleepy heads sleeping, and went to the track Saturday morning. Famous, retired jockeys are good friends to have; he pretty much goes and does what he wants. Like watch Barbaro being exercised the morning of the big race. I couldn't believe they were working this horse on race day. This horse impressed me; he looked like a man among boys, he was so finely conditioned. Pointing at Barbaro, J. whispered There's the winner.

I of course was concerned that this horse was more of a turf horse than a dirt horse. But J. told me that the great ones can run on both.

Barbaro is sired by Dynaformer, whose stud fee is $100,000. Divide that in half, and that is how much the entry fee is to enter a horse in the Kentucky Derby.

After finding out Sweetnorthernsaint had bruised his hoof earlier, I decided he was no longer going to be the winner. Still like him, but I never bet on a horse with injuries. And J. heard that he hadn't been his usual self during workouts. Damn. He sure did have the Look of the Eagles though.

The winner of the 132nd Run for the Roses, Barbaro, with Edgar Prado in the irons. This was Prado's first win, after seven attempts.

Barbaro leaves the pack eating his dust, which ends up being the largest gap between the winner and the pack in 60 years. If you aren't making dust, you're eating it.

My picks:

Win - Barbaro (because J. knows his shit) - he won.

Place - Steppenwolfer (because he was having good workouts, unlike Showing Up and Sweetnorthernsaint; plus he reminds me of Monarchos, a previous Derby winnner) - he got third.

Show - Showing Up (who I just like) - He got sixth after Jazil and Brother Derek dead heated for fourth.

Watch the race here. I was dead on about Sinister Minister and Keyed Entry making this race fast and ahead of pace. It was one of the better races I have seen in years, as I watched the horses battle it out. I knew Barbaro was going to win after he made the last turn and starting to come down the stretch; he never showed signs of slowing down, and when Prado asked him to turn it on, Barbaro brought it. Steppenwolfer was just a little late stalking Barbaro, but he passed 4-5 horses effortlessly to Show. Somehow Bluegrass Cat managed to get second, and Steppenwolfer had enough juice left for third. Showing Up was sixth and Sweetnorthernsaint was seventh out of a field of twenty; those two wasted too much energy being boxed in, trying to find a clear path.

Barbaro paid me back 5-1 for the win; I bet $50 bucks. So I won $250. I had no idea what other bets to place, as I only thought Barbaro was a sure thing. Now I wish I would have done one of those things where you pick a few horses, as Steppenwolfer came through. Oh well.

Your traditional mint julep on Derby day costs $9.00, which after the drink is consumed, leaves one with a cool collectible glass. I have just one, because the beer was more feasible.

That purple band around her wrist is the brand one gets to parade around with as a member of the Millionaire's Row. Like her hat? She spent more on that than she did for that fancy mint julep.

Now, for those that want to donate money to a good cause and have a cooler memento than the rest of the Derby groupies, there is the $1000 fancy mint julep. Yep, $1000; bet no one sucked down this pricey cocktail fast. Comes in a gold plated cup, and is made with all sort of imported stuff. There were 50 available; and some how they managed to sell 50 of them. Impressive; the money goes to making sure retired racehorses stay off of the menu overseas.

My favorite celebrity at the races that wasn't a horse, trainer or jockey, was Jennifer Love Hewitt. She is so cute and sweet. But honestly, I was more interested in the horses than the celebrities.

There is much more to come about this weekend in regards to the Derby trip, Bree and I's karaoke Sunday with a guy from the 130th that I now have a thing for, and my escapades with a coon that has been eating the barn cats food. AND I have a photo update about those chicks that hatched earlier this Spring.

Evening Wear IS Required...Only After Six

2006-05-05T11:09:00.000-07:00

Packing my last bit of stuff for my trip to the Derby. Including two dresses and heels, which makes me feel like I am going to a party instead of a race. Thank God I have been tanning, as those dresses show a lot of skin. Bree of course was packed yesterday, but she got a head start because she didn't unpack much from her business trip to Nashville.

So how do you say Louisville? I am curious.

We'll be leaving here in a bit...then going out on the town in Louisville after J. surprises us with which hotel we are staying at. Then most of Saturday I plan on living at the track, accompanying J. through the barns and the backside, then getting cleaned up for the races. Then Saturday we have parties to go to. Then a brunch on Sunday morning, then we are headed back home.

This years Kentucky Derby is a reminder that the race doesn’t always go to the swiftest. It usually goes to the stalker of the front runners.

Brother Derek is the favorite so far for the Derby. I was SO right, I knew he would be here. Am I good or what? I think he'll be in the mix, but I don't think he'll win.

The track is going to be fast tomorrow, and Sinister Minister is next to Keyed Entry in the line up in the gate close to the rail, which means this race is going to be fast, probably a rapid early pace. Steppenwolfer is next to them, so I am afraid he might get drawn into the speed, which would end his chances to win.

I still like Sweetnorthernsaint; can't help it...he won the Illinois Derby impressively. Showing Up (who I like too), Barbaro, and Bob and John are going to be in the mix, along with Steppenwolfer. But honestly, this race is going to be a good one. So watch!

Sweetnorthernsaint winning the Illinois Derby impressively.

Showing Up, after his win in the Lexington Stakes in Keeneland the weekend before my birthday.

I want to give a big shout out to the nearly 200 Illinois ARNG troops that are home after a year and a half in Iraq. Bravo Company, Second Battalion, 130th Infantry has finally made it back here to Illinois today. Also, members of Charlie Company, Second Battalion, 130th Infantry are also due back home a little later on today. Welcome home! Thank you for your service! Hooah!

This is very emotional for me, as a family member and some of my friends are in this unit. Can't make it there to say hello and thank you in person...I am feeling guilty about not being able to make it to the parades or parties...but I surely will go see them soon!!!

Major John, I have Moosetracks in the freezer...

Happy Cinco De Mayo! Sar is celebrating at her place.

Bird Sings Why The Caged I Know

2006-05-04T10:35:00.000-07:00

Been one of those days.

Perhaps later on, it will be take me drunk, I'm home. Who knows. I don't have to do anything productive tomorrow anyway except work the three youngsters. And then leave for Kentucky! Yeehaw!

I do have some pretty horses here on the farm right now.
I am totally in my groove when I have horses to work. Somewhere, I must have renewed my love of them; specifically the show horses. Yes, I love horses, period. And I have done everything from barrel racing to cutting to team roping (I can't heel worth a shit) to team penning to jumping to dressage to western pleasure to riding those high stepping english (saddleseat) horses. I don't like being a one trick pony, I suppose.

But I have an addiction to those high stepping horses.

Which is probably why I am seriously considering the job offer I received today. And ever since then, a song has been stuck in my head. Literally and figuratively.

Yep, I've got Georgia on my mind. Close to the ATL specifically. Job would be with one of the most talented english trainers in the breed. So of course I am really thinking about it...even if I thought I would never train horses as a full time career ever again. I'm allowed to change my mind...

But Georgia? Become a Georgia peach?

Now I have this song stuck in my head. Peaches by Presidents of the United States of Ameri...

Relief

2006-05-03T10:13:00.000-07:00

I have done this before...what some good horses will tolerate. It's amazing what trust can do.

I am officially relieved of my position as mommy after getting all of the kiddies off to school this morning. Their dad is home, so I can resume my life as normal. My life is far from normal though, so I have no idea what that really means.... trust me, normality and this cowgirl don't always see eye to eye.

Speaking of trust, I am still earning the trust of two of the three young horses that I have here. One of them is super friendly; but the other two haven't been handled much; or they were handled poorly. Those two are pains in the ass to catch, but at least now they come running when I holler, because I always have something yummy in a bucket.

Whoa seems to be an issue for one...but I think we are starting to speak the same language. Whoa doesn't mean slowly start to think about slowing down and stopping. It means STOP, NOW. Round pens are great for that. Anything I train better come to a screeching halt when the word whoa is mentioned. Without it, riding/driving a horse would be like being in a car with the brakelines cut.

One should probably be concerned when another trainer sends one horses to start. In some ways, I suppose it says alot about me and my abilities to make connections with horses that might other wise never become good, happy horse citizens. However, it does leave me questioning whether or not I am crazy...

My three "students" are english (saddleseat) prospects, meaning that they have a lot of natural heighth and animation in their movement. Two are National Show Horses (double registered half Arabians, the other half being American Saddlebred), and the third horse is a very showy Arabian. They'll spend a lot of time in lines (see below) and eventually I'll hook'em up to a training cart, probably before I ever climb up on them.

I am severely missing going to horse shows all across the country; this is my first year of not doing so. Of course I had the schooling show this year, but that doesn't really count. I guess I need to step back and remember why I am taking a break. Here are a few good stories about my life showing horses. I have tons more, which I'll eventually share at some point, I am sure. I have yet to indulge in my William Shatner run-ins at horse shows (he shows Saddlebreds and Quarter Horses), as I don't want to dissolve the illusion created by Boston Legal for some. He does have some nice horses though.

A storm's rolling in, but not anything of significance. Perhaps something will kick up later.

Those people protesting the gas prices were there in full force today; all eight of them drove themselves! Didn't seem to be accomplishing much, as the pumps were full as I drove by. They have good intent, but they are looking for relief in the wrong place, I am afraid.

That's President Cowgirl

2006-05-02T10:35:00.000-07:00

Now Shayna has decided she is my campaign manager when I run in the Presidential election. She already is working on a campaign slogan, and other tactics to be used to get votes! See what happens when I start talking politics? Now they have me running for office! Maybe there is something in the water, pia. I am a little young to run for that position, but I would consider being the mayor of my little town in Cornland...

So far watching Bree's children has been going without a hitch. Therefore, I don't have anything good to post about in regards to that. Except for her daughter asking me if I go on blind dates. Because she wants to set me up on one. OMG! Her mom got a big kick out of that one.

More of my friends in the IL ARNG just got called up to go to Iraq. I thought they were supposed to be withdrawling troops...

Leaving Friday to head to Kentucky, so I am excited. I am so tired that my enthusiasm is hard to display through my writing, but yeehaw!

Standing Water

2006-04-30T20:09:00.000-07:00

Watching and waiting
For someone to understand me.
I hope it won't be very long.

If you missed Saturday's post, it's worth a look, as I rarely go off on a political tangent.

Shayna has an awesome post up of her road trip through Nowhereland, and if you haven't read her rockin' interview at Political Notio, you need to get moving! Pronto.

Oh, and Coop is my hero because she went to D.C. for the Rally To Stop Genocide in Darfur. She also has a blog dedicated to this hell on Earth. Barack Obama was there too; I really like this guy. I met him a few times, and he was impressive.

The lovely pia goes back to the beginning, bringing back memories of a lady I worked for that was a hardcore groupie with the Moody Blues. The stories! I know a lot of stuff about them, Hendrix, Buffalo Springfield...and I remember her talking a lot about Justin Hayward. I know who Sheena, Queen of the Jungle, is. That was originally a comic book!

OMG. I am playing mommy the next few days for my friend Bree's three children while she is in Nashville for a business trip. This could be interesting...but I am excited. She comes back Wednesday night! Yeah!

I hate to admit it, but I just had to tune into Meet The Press today. I have pretty much liked Dick Durbin, but now I really like him. Listen here. Wanna watch the whole thing? Then head here. Thought it was interesting and a tad bit entertaining.

My three cents: if everyone would quit playing the blame game, they could actually figure out a solution. To something, for fuck's sake. Politics is such a pissing contest sometimes. Makes me want to run for office.

Seriously, I am politically unbiased. And maybe that is why I am extra frustrated.

Uh, oh. I have mentioned politics two days in a row. Watch out. ;)

My middle name is Trouble...

Hope

2006-04-29T06:07:00.000-07:00

Who I am
Does it matter anyway
Who I am
And what I've seen along the way
Who I am
It changes a little everyday
But with the light of truth and an open heart
I just want half a chance
As long as I'm here and before I go
I'm gonna find out who I am

The apple of my eye. Looking into his soulful eyes, I see him as he sees me.

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.

SUPPLY AND DEMAND...a little thing I learned before Jr. High....

Ok, I am going to have to step up on my politically unbiased soap box and just get this out of my head. Rumblings of how expensive gas is getting has blanketed the world in a thunderstorm. And sooner or later lightning is going to strike.

There are people here in my hometown picketing two gas stations owned by large oil companies, Shell and Exxon Mobil. Holding signs, they have been featured on the local television stations, with the intent to persuade/force the stations to lower their prices, or attempt to drive prices down by boycotting the bigger corporation's stations. These people are hoping local consumers will buy their gasoline at the smaller stations in town, like Casey's (Doug knows these are everywhere in the Midwest).

I chuckled when I saw that all of the participants had driven their own vehicles to where they were protesting (benefit of being in a small town...you know what everyone drives). Way to set an example. Bet they also have old, dirty fuel filters too...

I just don't think people get it. Local station managers have no control over prices. Politicians have little effect on prices; even if my state is planning on waiving the gas tax from Memorial Day to Labor Day. This might alleviate a little bit of stress in the finances, but honestly, what is really going to drop those prices is if we, as a nation, are conservative and try to start using other sources of fuel. Because there very well may be a day when crude oil becomes harder and harder to find. It is a natural resource that is not renewable.

Yes, my pocket book cries every time I fill my big diesel truck up, but I bet not as much as yours. I have became more efficient in when/where/why I drive, and try to carpool as much as possible instead of everyone taking their own vehicle everywhere. And I use biodiesel, which gets me about 40 miles a gallon. Not to mention it is a renewable resource, is more environmentally sound, and is in ample supply here in the Corn Desert. Go here to see more about the benefits of biodiesel.

Or what about ethanol? When I was a state officer for FFA, we drove a car that ran on ethanol E85, which is 85% ethanol and 15% gasoline. Again, this is more environmentally friendly. And it supports our nation's economy by using what oil is produced here in the US/North America and our farmland's renewable supply of corn. Barngoddess' family and others like hers would still be able to make a wonderful living from the oil fields here in the good ole USA.

My state also has oil fields...my area has rocking oil pump jacks speckling the country side. There are a few of them along side the road on the opposite end of the farm from our two houses, on the other side of the timber, past the fields. Rock, rockin' away.

Petroleum is not just used to make fuel. It is also used to make other chemical products like plastics, fertilizers, and pesticides. So even if we lowered the use of petroleum in fuel by using biodiesel or ethanol, there would still be an outlet that needs the petroleum we have in the U.S. Although, I don't support the use of petroleum based pesticides and fertilizers, but that is a whole nother post.

The price of oil is high everywhere, not just in the U.S. The world is consuming it beyond supply. Supply and demand. Simple.

Stop and think about our current situation with Iran and it's development of nuclear weapons. Unfortunately, Iran controls where nearly half of the world's supply of oil goes through. The Persian Gulf. So if the U.S./UN does act, you can beat your sweet ass Iran is going to play hard ball. Then gas prices are going to sky rocket.

But what do I know?

ADDENDUM: Sgt Grey Eagle's husband is going to be featured tomorrow, Sunday, April 30th, on CNN at 6:30 PM (EST)/5:30 PM(CST). It is a live interview about the website and life as a female soldier's husband. This is a must see.

The Good, The Bad, And The Fugly.

2006-04-28T11:37:00.000-07:00

There are days when I just wonder why I blog.

Seriously.

I'm not trying to be a writer or poet or rock star. Well, perhaps the last one. Been pondering that a lot lately.

But I re-read my posts, and my little patriotic cowgirl piece of the blogosphere is basically my online journal, with occasional witty remarks tossed in for good measure. Every once in a while I rant or say something constructive. Somehow I manage to steer clear of really talking about politics, or anything else that is not considered good to discuss at the supper table if you want to actually eat your food at the temperature it was initially intended to be consumed at.

And I don't get into my military life much. And I probably won't...can't.

Originally, I thought I was going to be drilling this weekend; but it looks like I am going to stay home and go to a funeral instead for a girl, er, young woman, that was a little younger than me that died in a accident just the other day. She was 22, getting ready to graduate from college in a matter of weeks. I would much rather be drilling than wearing black again.

On a much brighter note, I am going to be in Kentucky next weekend, getting ready to watch one of my highlights of the year, the Run For the Roses, the Kentucky Derby. First leg of the Triple Crown. THE place to get a mint julep. I've been to the derby before and to Churchill Downs several times, but I am ecstatic about going, because this was a surprise gift for my birthday. And I get to take one person of my choosing, because I have a spare ticket and my own room that has wireless internet! I am thinking Bree or Travis...and my gut tells me I will have more fun with Bree.

And I think my hall of fame jockey friend would have more fun taking two hot ladies to the parties instead of me and my whatever I call him. Because I don't know what to call him.

Somehow I don't think this equates to a vacation. But in my twisted world, I will enjoy it just as much.

THE COWGIRL'S CURRENT CONTENDERS

This year's race is going to be a good one. I personally like Sweetnorthernsaint, who won the Illinois Derby impressively. And this horse has some speed unlike many others his age at this distance. I think if the track is fast and he makes a good break, he will be right there. But he can't waste his speed early (note to jockey)!!! Kent Desormeaux is more than capable. But bet your ass I am going to be talking him through the race, lol.

I also like Lawyer Ron, a Northern Dancer bred horse that won the Arkansas Derby. I think he is going to be hitting his peak for the derby. He is a solid horse, and I like the looks of him. His jock might be only 24, but then perhaps he will ride this horse instead of his ego. (And yes, that was a dig, lol).

My two horses that can sneak in and steal the show are going to be Steppenwolfer and Showing Up. Steppenwolfer just has it to be a derby horse; his running style is impressive. He is bred to be a winner, and I think he has it to pass up the horses not used to running the extra distance of the Kentucky Derby. Again, a wise trainer and jock could get this horse to a win at the wire.

Showing Up, on the other hand, has that important strong kick down the back stretch. Depending on the track conditions and how he breaks, this guy could do more than show up. His jockey placed second last year in the derby, but has never won one. My gut tells me this horse could steal the show depending on how the conditions are.

Everyone pretty much has Brother Derek, winner of Santa Anita, as one of, if not the favorite at the date of this post. But the favorite hardly ever wins... besides this horse is still in California. And he has only had one race in his three year old year that I know of. But he is going to possibly be in the mix. Coming down to the wire, he just might cause trouble.

Shayna is even cute when she rambles. Check out Shayna's interview at Chris' Political Notio!

Miz B...more revealed, in a tag/meme/whatever the hell they are called. ;) They are great for rainy days. Figuratively and literally.

I Get To Do WHAT!

2006-04-27T06:44:00.000-07:00

Today, I get to put new graphics on a local city's fleet of squad cars; I designed it myself (go me!), using the colors of their high school. Usually the officers keep most of them at home when they are not on duty, but today, they are all going to be there for me to work on. Only the officers on duty today are bringing their cars in, so I get to drive a few of them back and forth from the cop shop to our shop's garage. ME. Can you get a speeding ticket in a cop car? Just curious...doubt anyone would even have the nerve to pull me over.

Seems like I am going to be a busy Cowgirl, as I am getting three colts in to start. They are being delivered Saturday...but I will not be here because of drill. Oh well.

Shell, my favorite pixie, tagged me. So here goes.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 0600 hours. And today was SO much better than yesterday. I can stomach coffee.

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Plus that is my birth stone.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Dreamer. With 10 of my riding lesson kids last year. Loved it, but I am a sucker for a good horse movie. And Dakota Fanning is an awesome actress.

4. What is your favorite TV show? I would have to say Grey's Anatomy or Medium. When I get to watch them.

5. What did you have for breakfast? A banana protein milkshake, homemade.

6. What is your middle name? Trouble

7. What is your favorite food? Depends on the day. And I am into organic raised food.

8. What foods do you dislike? Not much of anything. But if you wanna know what MRE's to stay away from, I could help you out.

9. What kind of potato chips do you like? I like plain Baked Lays. And I am a salsa and guacamole freak, so good tortilla chips are always stashed somewhere.

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? That is so hard to answer, because I am a music freak. Sugarland's CD Twice the Speed of Life, Miranda Lambert's CD Kerosene, and a mix CD I made with my favorite songs of the moment including Crossfade, Metallica, Black Eyed Peas, Green Day, Sublime, Chevelle, Relient K, My Chemical Romance...along with several others... I know, weird mix. And sometimes nothing beats Lynyrd Skynyrd, the Stones, Aerosmith, or AC/DC. And Matisyahu is awesome. And every once in awhile I like the Dazed and Confused soundtrack.

11. What kind of car do you drive? A 2004 Chevy 3/4 ton HD quad cab diesel that I recently put a chip in to soup it up. And it runs on biodiesel. Which gets me about 40 miles a gallon now!!!!!

12. Favorite sandwich? A Turkey Bravo on Tomato Basil bread from Panera (at the moment). Which is almost always paired with French Onion Soup.

13. What characteristics do you despise? Two faced people, liars, mean people. Your basic evils of humanity.

14. Favorite item of clothing? Depends. My socks if I am army girl. Comfy jeans are a must for civies...and I can't stand cheap bras, but that is probably TMI.

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Vacation? What's that? Ok, seriously, Ireland...or Italia. Or Nashville.

16. What color is your bathroom? The downstairs one is eggshell, taupe, and brown with a touch of Burgundy. The upstairs one is more contemporary, and coordinates with my teal, brown with a touch of light green bedroom.

17. What is your favorite brand of clothing? Don't have one. I love vintage stuff though. My favorite boot brand is Ariat.

18. Where would you want to retire? Retire?! At this point, the last thing I am worried about is retiring.

19. Favorite time of day? Tie between sunrise and sunset.

20. Where were you born? In a hospital somewhere in Cornland.

21. Favorite sport to watch? Rodeos or showjumping. I like college sports and the Olympic Games too.

22. Who do you least expect to answer this???? Who cares?

23. Person you expect to answer first? Ditto. lol

24. Coke or Pepsi? Dr. Pepper!!!

25. Are you a morning person or night owl? Both. Seriously.

26. What size shoe do you wear? 9 - 9 1/2

27. Do you have any pets? A horse, two Australian Shepherds, his Majesty the cat, and some chickens.

28. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? I realized that it is impossible to runaway from something that is within.

29. What did you want to be when you were little? Tie between a jockey or a veterinarian.

30. Is the glass half empty or half full? Hmmm, depends on what the glass contains. ;)

31. What is your best childhood memory? Laying bareback on my old yellow horse on a nice summer night while he grazed in the pasture and I looked up at the stars.

32. What are the different jobs you have had in your life? Research Assistant, Secretary, Waitress, Bartender, Accountant, Exercise Rider, Horse Trainer, Barn Manager, Graphic Design Artist, 91WM6 to name a few.

33. What color underwear are you wearing? Black

34. Nicknames: Red, Cowgirl, Legz

35. Piercings? 3

36. Eye color: Brown

37. Ever been to Africa? No, but I would love to go.

38. Ever been toilet papering? Hell yes.

39. Love someone so much it made you cry? Yes.

40. Been in a car accident? Yeppers, but not when I was driving. Knock on wood.

41. Croutons or bacon bits? Croutons

42. Favorite day of the week? Don't have one, because now I am trying to make them all good.

43. Favorite flower? I love flowers...I like stargazer lilies, coneflowers, orchids...I just love flowers.

44. Favorite ice cream? Haven't met a kind I really disliked, but I don't eat much of it because I am afraid it will go straight to my ass. But I love a good strawberry milkshake. And homemade icecream is impossible for me to turn down.

45. Disney or Warner Brothers? Either

46. Favorite fast food restaurant? Does Panera count?

47. What color is your bedroom carpet? I have hard wood floors

48. Failed your drivers test? Nope.

49. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail from? Hmmm...think it was a tie between Shell, Miz B, and my gal pal Bree.

50. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Schneiders oh yeah!

51. What do you most often do when you are bored? Mess with my horse and dogs, run, or blog. And if all else fails, I doodle until I start writing something.

52. Bedtime? When I fall asleep.

53. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? Everyone's

54. Last person you went to dinner with? The last two times have been with Bree!!! I love her.

55. Lake, Ocean or river? Ocean. But any water will do.

56. How many tattoos do you have? I am getting my lower back done pretty soon. Because I can.

57. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Is this a philosophic, religious, or scientific question?

58. How many people are you tagging with this? Whomever desires to deem themselves tagged.

And yes Shell, I do love you with all my heart.

Kyahgirl has some awesome pictures of a horse she loved as a child. Anytime you find yourself in the Corn Desert, holler, because I would be honored to take you riding chica! I'm sure you can fit into my boots.;)

25 years and a day

2006-04-26T11:53:00.000-07:00

Last night was an absolute blast. I drank more than my fair share of booze, and Lordy am I paying for it today. I feel borderline shitty, not all the way shitty. There is a difference; I never desire to feel like I did in college again! The horror!

Perhaps I should have reined myself in a bit. But considering this was the first birthday that I have had in my home town since high school, and the fact that it was also my golden birthday, I am sure it was warranted. And it sure as hell was entertaining, and I had so much fun serenading everyone, and doing duets with my pals. My gal Bree and I do an awesome Does He Love You, her singing Reba and me singing Linda Davis.

The beautiful Shayna gave me a shout out for my birthday. I am always amazed at all she accomplishes, and she still makes time to blog!

Shell, my favorite pixie, has some wonderful words here. And that cowboy...thanks!

Here is the lilac bush that is right outside my house. I love lilacs, as does Cooper. Their fragrance may not make everything instantly better, but it sure does help. If you haven't been to her Darfur blog yet, get thine self over there!

Some of my tulips. I got a little carried away.

A Cowgirl's Birthday

2006-04-25T06:39:00.000-07:00

Today is my golden birthday...25 years old on the 25th of April! Yeehaw! Icky! Icky! I am jumping for joy! It's all spurs and no bit today!!!

My favorite pixie, Shell, sent me some wonderful presents! Thank you! I needed that cowboy!;) Patrick, aka Esoteric Wombat, included me in his introspective rant, wishing me Happy Birthday. Thanks man! Cheers!

The wonderfully sassy Doug of Waking Ambrose also gave me a shout out on my Birthday. Thank you! I got third place in the caption contest over at Sar's! Which is awesome considering the competition I was up against, Doug and Miz B. Speaking of Sar, she couldn't bring me back a tangibly rich, good looking, single man while she was vacationing in Aruba, but she did find pirates! Arrrrrr....

I've had a busy BUSY weekend, but so much fun! The horse show was a blast, and my green "around the gills" steed was amazing. I am glad I wore my schooling chaps. He needed a little reining in, but not the kind Cooper is talking about.

His barn name is Chocolate, but I call him Choco-latte. Dunno why. But I think it is funny that his name is Chocolate, considering my I Need A Band-Aid post. So since he is a horse AND his name is Chocolate, is he therapy, or a band-aid? I am going to go have some more breath of life and mull this over.

I want to thank Brian of Truth Is Freedom for the wonderful poem he wrote for my birthday that he sent to me about a week ago. He truly has a way with words.

Born of earth and corn
now third decade of her life
unfurls freedom flag
singing parties she attends
celebrating birth today

This is a poem written by mio amico italiano, the charming Alexandro. Grazie.

Il Canto del Mare (The Song of the Sea)

Vi era un tempo in cui il Mare
ed il bimbo giocavano felici,
rincorrendosi l'un l'altro.
Il bimbo ed il
Mare ridevano assieme ed erano amici.
E quando alla fine il bimbo era stanco
e sudato,
il Mare lo cullava,
dolcemente,
fra mille riflessi del
sole calante.
Allora il bimbo si lasciava andare
a quella affettuosa
ninna nanna,
fino a che non giungeva la notte.

Ora il bimbo e'
cresciuto,
ed il mare e' vecchio,
e stanco.
L'uomo non ha
dimenticato il suo grande amico,
che ancora sa farlo sorridere e dargli
pace.
Anche il Mare non ha dimenticato i tempi felici,
in cui l'uomo era
bimbo e giocava con lui.
Ora il vecchio amico e' stanco,
ed ha sonno.
L'uomo e' con lui, e' grato e sorride.
Ora e' il bimbo a cullare
l'amico, stanco,
mentre i riflessi si spengono,
ed il mare s'addormenta,
e sogna.
E l'uomo piange

Speaking of Italian, I am a little rusty. But thanks to the urging of the wonderful Pia of Courting Destiny fame, I am brushing up. Might be advantageous, and what a romantic language. Speaking of Pia, saddle up and head over to her place, as she is certainly not a one hit wonder! Thanks for the birthday wishes and other advice!

The 10,000th visitor at Shayna's was Wombat! Head over there to My Music Highway and listen to the song she wrote in his honor, and while you are at it, read her rockin' interview with Miz B!
MORE TO COME!

I Need A Band-Aid

2006-04-22T09:38:00.000-07:00

Who is going to be the 10,000 visitor at Shayna's? Perhaps you? Head on over there and listen to a song I like to sing along with. Chocolate is a band-aid...Amen for chocolate!

Well, if chocolate is a band-aid, coffee must be like the breath of life. Wonder what alcohol is considered...to me, horses are therapy, so that is out. Escape? Fun? Maybe it spells trouble. But, perhaps trouble is wisely spelled c-o-w-g-i-r-l.....;)

Off to go ride the horse I am showing in a hunter/jumper schooling show tomorrow. I always seem to fall into catch riding horses that I have never ridden before, let alone seen before. That could be eventful. (Horsey people catch the pun?). Oh, and Shayna, I am taking my schooling chaps just for you. ;) I have several pairs of chaps, so anytime you want to borrow them, just holler.

Top 15 Reasons To Date An Equestrian

15. We know how to use whips and spurs correctly.
14. One word....bareback.
13. We are used to bite marks.
12. We can ride for hours.
11. Even after a rough day, we're always ready to ride.
10. We mount with ease.
9. We ride 'em hard and rub 'em down.
8. We have good hip control.
7. We instinctively know how fast or slow to go.
6. We can ride in any position.
5. We're used to having 1, 500 lbs of muscle between our legs.
4. We can always hit the right spot.
3. We're used to a bouncy ride, and make them look smooth as glass.
2. When we fall off, we get right back on.......and ride even harder.
1. We like it dirty.

My song for the day ...

And the song for this country...LOVE this song. I am the Patriotic Cowgirl, after all.

TGIF!

2006-04-21T00:55:00.000-07:00

About f-ing time Friday rolled around! Here's my public service announcement for all of you.

Four more days til my birthday!

Off to bed - it's close to 0300 hours. I am too damn tired now to say much of anything.

If you voted for me, thank you. Appreciate your support. If not, please head over to Sar's! Located in her sidebar; what a wonderful birthday present!

UPDATE - 10:30AM

My must read of the day is GETTING NAKED WITH THE ZENFO PRO:Hiking, Information Science, and the Art of Skinny-dipping with a Lesbian Couple from Out West. I am impressed. *thumbs up*

UPDATE - 11:00AM

The bohemian world in Spain holds my next must read. Head on over to Miz B's! My sides still hurt...

UPDATE - 1:25PM

Shayna has a very important public service announcement of her own. Holy Crackers!

Hmm....I am seeing a relation in topic matter between ZenFo Pro, Miz B, and Shayna's posts today...

Is it gettin' hot in here, or is it just me?

Baila en la calle de noche, Baila en la calle de día

My hips don't lie either. ;)

Bree and I are thinking about signing up for a belly dancing class...what a work out!

Vote For Me!

2006-04-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

Patriotic Cowgirl - Saddle up and vote for my caption! Don't forget to bring some friends! Spread the Cowgirl love!

Jumping sidesaddle for votes!
I am campaigning for votes as I am in the Tell Me Tuesday Contest over at Sar's Belle of the Brawl. Shameless promotion is allowed and encouraged, so vote for me! *bats eyelashes coyly*

I was tagged by my pal Rude1, so of course I thought I would oblige.

Six Weird Things About Me That I Do Not Typically Share

1.) I have a photographic memory, accompanied by an IQ over 140. Can we say freak? I remember horse pedigrees and other things by "looking" at them, re-reading them in my mind.

2.) There is a pair of pull on boots by my front and back door, in case I need to go outside quickly. I also always have a pair of boots in my truck, accompanied by horse halters and leads, a rope (lariat), fencing pliers, an equine/human compatible first aid kit complete with suture kit and epi-pen, flashlights, flares, and other things in case horses, cattle or other livestock are loose; or an accident happens. I would leave my shotgun in the truck, but that would get me in trouble.

3.) Whenever I eat a salad (practically every day), I always have a little bit of Ranch AND a little bit of French/Catalina. And I prefer baby spinach, and think iceberg lettuce is a waste of time. But I will eat it if I have too.

4.) I have done some modeling, and would do it again in a heart beat.

5.) I also have had the experience of riding as an extra and as a double on set. Where and when, I am NOT telling. But someday I hope to have a few trained horses to be used in movies.

6.) Everyone by now should know I am an accomplished equestrian; Mom says I have been riding since I was an embryo. Literally. If it involves horses, I am all over it. I surpass the term horse crazy...I have an obsession with all things EQUINE.

I have driven four in hand (four horses at once), and I have driven draft teams during the Winter Holiday season in two big cities for extra money before I could even drive a car, uh hum, legally. I also am family friends with a family that raises Clydes for a certain beer empire.

I was fortunate to have a trick riding family close to my home town, so I learned how to trick ride and roman ride (click here for video).

Ride'em Cowgirl!

I also like to teach horses how to bow and rear on command, along with other dressage and upper level movements. And I have a fascination with the Spanish walk, demonstrated here by a little girl on a Friesian.

One of my favorite Andalusian stallions is Alborozo, click here to see a video of his outstanding intelligence and beauty as he Spanish walks, piaffes, and passages into people's hearts.

Alborozo, jubilation in horse form.

Surprise!

2006-04-19T08:27:00.000-07:00

Today I am the Rootin Tootin Wednesday guest over at Doug's Waking Ambrose. Quite the privilege. Please head over and check it out; it is sure to be a wild and zany time, considering I am the guest! The word of the day is sidesaddle! Very suiting.

Riding an American Saddlebred carrying the American Flag... how patriotic!

Two Pinto Half Arabians from the same training stable win Regional Champion and Reserve in Ladies Half Arabian Western Sidesaddle. Go team!

Here's a Friesian for Barngoddess! Hope you like to groom!

Again, last night sirens woke me up. More tornadoes jumped around very close to home. That makes 5 tornado producing severe thunderstorms from March 13 (before Spring). Geesh. And we are only getting started!

Head over to Shayna's to see some mind candy. Some of my favorite peeps made her list! Including the still blushing Patriotic Cowgirl. Can't wait to meet her for karaoke and beer!

Pia is making the news everywhere! They know a good thing when they see it, but I am a bit miffed at how they spin things. But that's the media for ya.

A Cowgirl Update

2006-04-18T10:51:00.000-07:00

Go wish Kyahgirl a Happy Birthday! Cheers!

Barngoddess has a post here that makes me appreciate life even more.

Today marks the one week count down to my 25th birthday - April 25th. Appropriately, a special karaoke night is being held at my favorite hangout in honor of my birthday. I am delighted, especially since the birthday girl is drinking for free. Therefore, Barngoddess, more tequila shots may be in order. I already have a designated driver on retainer. ;)

After the storms on Thursday night, I awoke to no power or internet. The horror! My provider had been knocked out too. But like I said, I'm Alive, so that is what matters most. I am back to being my "dynamic posting self", to quote Miz B. My short absence of internet capabilities has made me realize that I am addicted to blogging, and that I love my blogosphere friends.

Miz B has me pegged; I am "still seeking many answers to life's questions and wondering whether she should move away from home or stay put."

This four day weekend was amazing, and it has been battling for me to stay put close to my roots. Friday night I went out with my friend Bree (Rude1 - I've talked about her to you before; aka my bar top dancing buddy); in her I have found my soul sister and a sense of familia. She is a little bit older than me, but that probably is why we get along so well. I can be my Patriotic Cowgirl self around her, and she encourages it.

Bree and I had a large time Friday night. We closed the bars down with two younger than me guys; one is in the Army Reserves, so we talked shop. He reiterated the thoughts of the Hottie Reserves guy, that I was the hottest 91WM6 he had ever met, but he didn't classify as a hottie. Cute yes; hot, er...no.

Bree had said that she needed to do some shopping for Easter Sunday, so I suggested drunk shopping at the Super Wal-Mart in the big city. What a road trip that was! Cutie Army Reserves Guy and his battle buddy followed us there. I haven't laughed that hard in years; and I think we were very amusing for the employees. Especially the shopping cart races and this slightly inebriated Cowgirl trying to catch things as Bree, former fast pitcher extraordinaire, pitched them at me.

After we were done terrorizing Super Wal-Mart, we all decided to eat breakfast. It was after 3AM, so why the hell not? I ended up pulling back in the driveway after 5AM. But is was SO worth it, because all we talked about was politics and religion. Which I NEVER get to really physically voice my opinion about. Surprising to both Bree and I, we were finishing each other's thoughts. Those poor guys didn't stand a chance.

Bree is the one that twisted my arm so that I would sing in choir Easter Sunday. I am so happy that she did, because somewhere within that day I found some inner peace. A re-birth of sorts. I have my own thoughts and battles with religion and where it stands in my life; but I think I am going to start attending church with Bree and become a fixture of the choir. It struck a harmonious chord that is still reverberating in my soul.

My parents went for a motorcycle trip on Sunday, therefore Bree invited me to her place in a neighboring small town for lunch after church. Her kids were at their biological father's for Easter; but her parents, Bree's sister and her husband, her husband's parents, and a few other strays were there eating Bree's excellent food and enjoying each other's company. It actually felt like I was part of a family, not just a member of one.

While we were at her house, the sirens started screaming. ANOTHER tornado. Like my usual self, I ran outside, sans flip flops, to see what we were up against. Bree's husband, retired Army, is a volunteer firefighter and trained weather spotter, so he was absolutely amused by me. While we were outside, we witnessed an accident involving several vehicles. All of the standing water from the onslaught of rain made accidents inevitable. Being that we were both trained in life saving measures, we ran up the street to the scene. Yes, I was barefoot. It takes an ambulance 15 minutes to reach the scene, so we were basically first responders. Everyone was ok, suffering minor injuries, with the exception of an adorable little boy(5-ish) who was choking on candy he swallowed when his mother hydroplaned and crashed into the truck in front of her. This poor lady, blood trickling down her forehead, was screaming that her baby couldn't breathe.

It was a big deal, but not really a big deal. I asked for her consent to help him, and then in a blur of motion, out popped the peppermint he had gotten after going out for Sunday Brunch with his family. He took a deep breath, then started hiccuping. You ok son? (Hiccup). Um, (hiccup), yes'm.(Hiccup). Mommy can't (hiccup) drive. Daddy (hiccup, hiccup) is always saying (hiccup) that.

What a spiritual day. Those words were priceless. I'll never forget being called an Angel by that little boy's mother. Her "Thank you"s and "Thank God"s were the most sincere I have ever heard. And we got a good laugh out of his hiccuping wiseness. All while a few tornadoes jumped around 10 minutes away. Amazing.

Wednesday I have a surprise.

I'm Alive!

2006-04-17T06:32:00.000-07:00

My internet is finally back up. It has been down for what seems like an eternity, and I was starting to have withdrawals. I haven't had power off and on since my last post, but that is easily remedied with a teeth-rattling generator.

My favorite bohemian mama, Miz B, chose this picture, The Rode Yonder, after I tagged her a little while back. I find her intriguing; she has so much emotion and power that she brings forth in her writing. Saddle up and check out what she has to say, it's worth the virtual ride to Spain.

The Sound of Sirens

2006-04-13T23:04:00.000-07:00

Declaration: The word for the year is going to be TORNADO. Seriously.

I am wide awake after another thrilling storm. Tornadoes that threaten during the night really piss me off, because they are nearly impossible to see. Sometimes you can catch a glimpse of a tornado late at night when lightning strikes. The clouds were extremely low due to the cold temperatures, so the lightning was intense. Still watching it out the window. Intoxicated.

The lightning started early before any precipitation, which is a good indicator that things could get interesting.

The sounds of the hail hitting my windows indicated the size. At first, I was thinking that the marble sized hail was big. Then the golf balls came. They hit so hard they were bouncing pretty high off the deck.

Often large hail is the sign that you are North of the path of a tornado. Which I was. But generally speaking, hail doesn't mean a tornado. Or vice versa.

Hail is formed in cumulonimbus clouds, aka thunderheads. It usually occurs in the summer, because the warm updrafts hold the rain up in the clouds where it freezes and grows, until the updraft isn't strong enough to carry the hail. Then it starts spitting out anything from tiny specks to the largest hail ever recorded, which was almost 2 pounds! Poor Coffeyville, Kansas back in 1970. Imagine ice balls that big being hurled down at speeds of up to 120mph!

Last I knew, Illinois farmers were the leading consumers of crop insurance for hail damage. Like you needed to know that.

Looks like the rest of the night is going to be uneventful, so off to bed I go. Thanks for tuning in to Cowgirl's Weather Update.

Thirsty Thursday

2006-04-13T10:02:00.000-07:00

Mosey on over to some good reads:

Shayna is brawling over at the Belle of the Brawl today. Go over and put in your two cents worth!

If you haven't been to Doug's Waking Ambrose, you are missing a good thing. Today the word being discussed is wine. Don't make me whine, because I find it appalling. I have a sign in my barn that I also have a duplicate of that says "No Whiners Allowed." That one went to all the horse shows to be hung in my tack room.

An occasional "Woe is me" is ok. And warranted. But consistent whining drives me crazy.

Even though this in no longer a pink haven, I am still enthralled with the pink place to be: Courting Destiny. Pia Savage is brilliant. Her talent with words and the way she thinks out loud is intoxicating to me.

I want to introduce a new blogger, Brian, of Truth is Freedom. He originally emailed me about a poem he wrote after reading my post Numb, about my 16 year old friend being assaulted. He also has a poem he wrote about me, too! Please check them out! Love that I inspired him to write again after keeping his pen idle for 8 years! Amazing and flattering. I thank you Brian for all of the kind words and for speaking out!

More to come!

Spring Cleaning

2006-04-12T08:17:00.000-07:00

Shocked to come here and not see pink? I am still tinkering around with it, but so far I kinda like my new blog home. Simple, quick to load, and three columns. I'm content.

Plus the patriotic hearts are cute.

Everything has been touched by my Spring cleaning fever. Even the dogs and my horse are getting baths and a good grooming today. Yesterday I attacked the barn, which wasn't bad because I am such a neat freak anyway. Not OCD, but more along the lines of military brat tidy.

Ever been told you were hot while at a visitation or funeral? I now have... occurrences happening several times the last few days. It just doesn't seem right for someone to be hitting on me then.

Coop had another philosophical moment... I knew I liked her for a reason.

Jason of Zenfo Pro discusses eating disorders, society, and sorority girls buying big bottles of laxatives...and now I am working on a post that maybe I will put up later. Or maybe not.

Mothers Say The Darndest Things

2006-04-10T12:22:00.000-07:00

While sitting with my mom drinking coffee, the phone rang. Mom answered, listened for a brief moment, said Well, about time it was great news - then hung up the phone.

Mom filled me in, because I must have looked puzzled.

They said "We have great news for you!" Well, about time it was great news. I am sick of getting those calls telling me I won an Ozark Getaway.

Reminder to self - double check to make sure I did put my parents on the Do Not Call list.

A must read ~ Sgt Hook's No Tears In Heaven

Thinking

2006-04-09T13:40:00.000-07:00

Currently procrastinating getting ready for the visitation for my childhood best friend's mom that I need to go to on this Palm Sunday. Like that is going to manipulate time. I have another visitation and funeral to attend right after the funeral on Monday, as my cousin's wife lost her battle to cancer yesterday. But now she is no longer hurting.

While having brunch with my parents this morning, I said, Thank God I like black, because that seems to be the color of choice these days. Shocked at what I said, I held my breath in fear of a lash back, but instead my dad busted up laughing. Whew. Ten years ago, something like that could have gotten me back handed. Thank God or whomever is responsible for Dad getting nicer as he ages.

Do I normally go to church... honestly, no. Most of my Holy days were spent on the back of a horse at a horse show. Which is appropriate, because on a horse I feel the most spiritual. Horses are always honest and never hypocritical.

During these young adult years, I do tend to end up at church during Christmas, Easter, weddings and funerals. I was raised Methodist, but I frequented all of the churches or synagogues in the area, attending services and youth group meetings with the menagerie of friends I was blessed with in my childhood. Never did it cross my mind that there was something wrong with any particular religion/culture, or an absence of one.

Growing up with such an open and diverse background makes me who I am today. Accepting. A listener. A thinker. Pro-active, not reactive. Seeker of the truth, not just what I should think is the truth.

Is there anything wrong with how I am so unbiased (especially politics)? I don't even fit into being labeled as a conservative Democrat or a liberal Republican. Honestly, defining myself either way tends to take the focus off of the issue at hand. I feel so much pressure to peg myself into a hole, that I want to scream. Do I HAVE to identify with anything?

Truth is what I prefer.

But now I need to become the cowgirl in black. I already wrote my favorite childhood memory and a poem about my second mom that I am going to share with everyone, then leave with her to cherish as we have cherished each other. So glad I have some good tear proof mascara.

Geesh. Is it possible that I can be a linear and non-linear thinker?

I Love Storms, But I Think Enough Is Enough

2006-04-08T09:32:00.000-07:00

Tornadoes ripped through Eastern Tennessee yesterday, wrecking havoc and leaving massive devastation across the Volunteer State, focusing around Music City. Check out the Tennessean (Nashville) and the Gallatin News Examiner for awesome photos and actual accounts of what happened.

Keep Shayna's family and friends in your thoughts and prayers, as last I knew she still hasn't heard from one of her friends in Gallatin. She has some awesome pics and a video link here.

My grandparents (my mom's dad and her stepmother) who are in their late 70's live in the country around Gallatin, and fortunately only suffered some minor damage. They gave us a scare because we couldn't get ahold of them for awhile, but somehow they managed to get a cellphone signal and were able to let us know they, along with their little fluffy ankle biter Peaches, were safe. They moved down there at the end of last year, to be with her family (she is from Tennessee like my dad's parents) and because the weather was nicer. Huh?

Both of them have been dealing with tornadoes all of their lives, but Gramps couldn't find the words to describe the devastation around them in Sumner County. Not surprising, as he is a man of few words on an everyday basis. All he could muster was "Sis, I'm just glad we are alive." Not as many people in the area around them were as fortunate as my grandparents to make it through without injury or loss of property. One unfortunate couple was found by rescuers, holding one another. So sad.

So far, in Sumner County alone, nine people were killed in a storm that even I, a simple college educated cowgirl, KNEW was going to be volatile. Did the sirens not work?

When I was predicting tornadoes last night, I certainly didn't expect to be right, even if it was a little further South... A little freaky, don't you think? Especially since they hit my grandparent's town? When I said It Feels Like Tornadoes, I had no idea that I actually was predicting some powerful weather.

Absolutely freakin' out.

Perhaps I should become a storm chaser after all. I have posted about tornadoes here, here, here, and here. With intermingling weather madness through the last month of posting. Wow.

The TN ARNG is being called up to help patrol the streets, I heard through the grape vine. I am really tempted to go volunteer down there, as my medic skills could be advantageous. Granny was saying that a hospital was hit, and one of the ladies who died was a nurse...

Pia Made My Day!

2006-04-07T15:53:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, I am enthralled with Pia Savage's Courting Destiny. She was recently featured in an article in the Long Island Press. Much to my surprise, here is what she had to say about me in her blog this afternoon.

My parts of the blogosphere are generally open to anybody with a brain, verbal acumen and some wit, as Patriotic Cowgirl can tell you. She does the best tornado reports since…well never since I think only heard them once in my life, talks about horses and country living, and for somebody like me who lives in Manhattan, it’s an antidote to city living.

I thought she read my blog occasionally because it was pink... just kidding.

It Feels Like Tornadoes

2006-04-07T14:00:00.000-07:00

I smell bad weather. The storm front is getting ready to roll in here in a bit, and I just have this feeling that it could get exciting again.

It has been a sunny day for the most part, with temperatures in the 70's. Match this with the storm front coming through pretty soon and the fact that it is supposed to be in the low 30's tonight...well, you have the makings for some powerful weather. Yeehaw.

Most definitely will be a t-shirt, jeans, and flipflops night. Oh, and maybe a pony tail. Because odds are I will get wet from the inevitable rain. I'll just have to remember not to wear white...

Not exactly sure what I am going to do tonight. My choices are either listen to an ok sounding band, or go sing karaoke. Band...karaoke...hmmm.... Is it sad that I would rather sing karaoke than listen to an "ok" band play? Damn it, I can't stand when I sing better than they can. It irritates me. I would much rather listen to karaoke, at least I KNOW half of them can't carry a tune in a bucket.

I must have some enthusiasm or something (right Doug)? He is such an enigmatic dawg.

Go over and wish Sar a Happy Birthday! She is the hottest stiletto that I know. Ok, she is the only stiletto that I know, but who's keeping track?

The Beginning of the End

2006-04-06T14:28:00.000-07:00

First of all, I want to congratulation the wonderful Pia on being featured in a newspaper article about her blog that has such a diverse and widespread following. Click here to read the article. Can't wait to read her book!

Received terrible news today. Should have known; it has been such a dreary day. My childhood best friend's mother passed away yesterday. She and her husband pretty much helped raise me, as my parents did their children and the rest of the country kids in the area. The glory of growing up where I did in the country; it literally did take a village to raise us.

From before kindergarten to about eighth grade, Dani and I had been thick as thieves. We grew up only a country block away from each other, and spent the majority of our time together, often with a few other kids, and sometimes a small herd. We were a tight knit group, until the inevitable changes that happen when one starts to become a teenager. Dani and I were still close, but it wasn't the same.

A little older, and much wiser, I understand that everything changes...nothing stays the same.

The majority of high school, we remained friends, but not best friends. That was Nicole's newly appointed position. I tended to skirt the "good girl" issue more than Dani desired to do; Nicole and I had partying and showing horses in common. The two of us together screamed trouble, but somehow we never got caught. Sometimes I think this pissed off Dani, but she never really showed it.

Nicole and I remain close friends to this day, despite the fact that we have lived at least 400 miles away from each other since a year after our Sr. year of high school. Oddly enough, she will be here tomorrow to spend a little over a week visiting. Guess she also has a funeral to go to this weekend.

Not quite the reunion we had pictured.

What to Blog Wednesday

2006-04-05T09:20:00.000-07:00

Cheers to Shayna for throwing an awesome virtual party. Guess I got a little wild... must have been all of the Tekillya.

Sounds like Pia has something brewing for Thursday, so be sure to check it out.

AND on Friday we all have another party to attend over at Sar's...

DawgyDoug dropped me a not so subtle hint about maybe being one of his Special Wednesday Guests. I'll let you know if/when this might occur...could be very interesting.

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Somehow, I felt like jogging (driving) my horse around this morning. I bet he feels like he survived Custer's Last Stand - he is the lone survivor, much like Captain Keogh's horse Comanche.

I haven't done much with him since the accident, except feed and brush him. But I got this overwhelming desire to hook him up to my jog cart and go cruise the driving path in the timber, as my dad and one of his brothers finally cleared the downed trees from the first tornadoes.

Tears streaked my face when I had to adjust the harness down to fit him, as the last horse I used it on is now buried underneath the old oak tree next to his other fallen comrade. Pride was so happy to be messed with, he would have harnessed himself up. I couldn't get his bridle on fast enough.

There is something so peaceful about the country first thing in the morning. The grass was so green, blanketed in dew. When the sun hit it just right, it looked like little mini-rainbows scattered along the hill side. Amazing.

During the drive, I felt at peace. My brain was silent without thought, which is a rare transaction lately. The only audible things were the birds singing, Pride's rhythmic hoofbeats, and the occasional groan of the jog cart. It was just me, my horse, and Mother Nature. My favorite combination.

Pride usually picks up the pace after we start heading back towards the farm, but this time he didn't. He must have been enjoying the outing as much as I was. After arriving at the barn, I unhooked him, and he followed me back into the barn, unled, to be unharnessed. I pulled his bridle off, and he rested his forehead on my chest. I dropped the bridle, and hugged him around his neck, while he nuzzled my back. Horses need hugs too.

Party!

2006-04-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Shayna! Go over and wish her Happy Birthday... the Stones are playing! Plus Shayna is already doing keg stands....

I thought this was the perfect gift for me to give to Shayna for her birthday. Johnny Cash was a musician that transcended genre; he influenced country, rock, blues, gospel, folk, and rockabilly music. Cash hated mainstream Nashville... Some how I see Shayna as a musician that is hard to "peg" and unwilling to conform to Nashville, therefore the autographed Cash guitar is a good fit. Plus, she has a "following" that is very diverse - just read her entire blog roll.

I am heading back over to the party... and don't forget Sar's birthday is coming up 4/7!

Someone pass the tequila! Body shots anyone?

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Been there, done that, going back for more.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Pick myself up and head back for more.

Tornadoes...AGAIN!

2006-04-03T08:45:00.000-07:00

First, tornadoes when it is technically Winter, then a blizzard when it is Spring, and now more tornadoes. Geesh! Throw in my friend getting raped and the accident... all within three weeks.

This is a rainbow that showed up after the storms hit last night. Perhaps it was a sign that I need to keep looking on the bright side of things. Like I am alive and have a roof over my head. Or perhaps it is merely water droplets diverting the sunlight's spectrum of colors.

Last night I was not home when the storm went through, and neither were my parents. There were some shingles blown off both roofs, and some tree limbs down. Plus no power. This set of storms was not nearly as bad as the one three weeks ago, but it hit in a more widespread area. And there were more casualties than the last storm.

Being the karaoke addict that I am, I was out at the Irish singing with my friends, which by now basically includes the whole bar. The Irish is in a pretty small town close to my hometown. As per bar code for watering holes in Tornado Alley, anytime there is severe weather headed our direction, it is a must to leave one of the TVs on a local weather station. I kept eyeballing the TV, and the storms cells that were brewing looked wicked.

Being the freak that I am, as soon as I heard the sirens screaming a little past 6PM, I ran outside sans flipflops to see if I could spot funnel clouds or a tornado. Much to my delight, there were two funnel clouds, and MASSIVE rotation about half the size of the town I was in (population 500, give or take a few). I watched the two funnel clouds suck back up into the clouds, on their way to hit hard a little North of where I was at. As soon as I felt the temperature change and the drop in barometric pressure when the rotation started passing over us, I turned around and booked it back into the bar, leaving everyone else wondering why I was running.

Then the non-weather wise gawkers piled back into the bar, soaked from the onslaught of rain that I knew was coming next. Oh, the joys of knowing a little meteorology.

The sirens went off twice more after that, and we even got some nice sized hail. Fun times in Tornado Alley.

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Need to smile and go "Awww..." head over to Shayna's.

Speaking of Shayna, remember to grab your party hats and put on your dancin' shoes, because we have a birthday to celebrate Tuesday!!

The Right to Shake That Ass

2006-04-02T10:48:00.000-07:00

Check out Coop's post (cross posted at BIO) about rape, kicked up by alledged rape at Duke. She is a very talented young woman that has sparked a debate on her use of the phrase "culture of rape."

Pia of Courting Destiny also posted at BIO "how women have the right to walk the streets without listening to men talking about their tits."

This is what this cowgirl had to say about it over at Wonderland Or Not :

Culture is no more positive than it is negative in the modern day use of the word. It is a word used to define a certain time and place, including behaviors and values of a society. So obviously it is suiting because that is the world we live in.
If it sounds too vulgar or strong good. Because it is. That is the point.
I am outraged that this societys first response to a rape is that they deserved it or they brought it upon themselves. No one deserves to be raped.
But I would make an exception for those that commit rape. I hope they drop their soap.

Honestly, I have a hard time thinking that getting raped is a severe enough punishment for rapists.

I briefly touched on rape a few weeks ago when my 16 year old friend was raped. This sweet angel did not want to report it because the rape culture that we are surrounded by does make the victim the accused. It was their fault for dressing provocatively or because they were shaking their ass on the dance floor. They were asking for it.

Bullshit. Every female has the right to shake her ass, bump and grind, and be comfortable with herself and her sexuality without the fear that she is going to be raped for it. Because no means no. Just because she is female and a man wants a piece of ass doesn't make it yes, no matter what.

Who is to blame for this culture of rape? Society? Parents? Pop culture? Religion?

Inked

2006-03-31T03:01:00.000-08:00

This just scares me... an incorporated town in Florida where there will be a fusion of religion and government...

Don't pass out around these guys. Doubt this is what he had in mind when he was talking about getting a tattoo.

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Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
~Mark Twain

I spent a few hours talking to my best friend about life. It is surprising how much insight into my psyche she has even when she is almost 400 miles away.

She is going to be coming up to visit in a week, and I think we are going to go get "inked" together. Just because we can.

A brave Army wife, she has pretty much raised her two youngsters on her own so far. Her husband is in Iraq on his second tour. Hopefully, he will be home in September. She told me today that he was hoping to become a drill sergeant; pray this comes true.

Of course she continued on about how I should just move down to Tennessee, transferring guard units. I have to admit I am very tempted, but it is on the opposite side of the state from where I want to move in Tennessee (near the Smokey Mtns). Clarksville isn't quite what I had in mind... but it is, however, closer to Nashville (right Shayna?).

My best friend called me a chicken shit, mainly because I was a little scared to jump in with both feet and commit to changing my life. Of course she is right; if I want something to change, I have to change too. Meaning, I need to move if I want to move.

If I am not doing something to change what I am unhappy about, then I quickly lose the right to complain about it. Therefore, guess I might be packing some boxes, putting the dogs and cat in the truck, and loading my lone horse in the trailer.

Because she is so right. I am young and unattached. This is the time for me to be living my life for myself.

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Tomorrow night is the night of that big karaoke contest. Should be entertaining....

Intervention At The Pump

2006-03-29T14:43:00.000-08:00

While at one of the gas stations in my hometown today, I got another funny reminder of small town life. This one particular station I was at has an intercom that is used to tell you when your pump is turned on. Guess this makes the employees look at each vehicle before they turn the gas on, to make sure they can identify the vehicle if it drives off.

At least, that is what I hope it is for, as surely some of these people around here aren't THAT stupid.

Pump one, your pumps ready, blared the gas station attendant, as I leaned against my truck, watching $2.69 per gallon fuel rack up on the pump's meter. Ouch. Just have to have this beast of mine.

Pump five is ready... Cody!? You better make sure you put your seat belt on. Drive the speed limit boy, those cops already don't like you.

All this time, I am trying to nonchalantly glance over at the little beat up Ford Ranger that the kid is driving, because this lady is cracking my ass up tormenting him. He is trying to act like he is not the one being lectured, but it isn't working. One customer is already chuckling.

Young man, who is that with you? Joshua, is that you?! You better put that seat belt on now, boy. Don't make me call your Grandmother! booms the speaker. By now this poor kid looks like he wants to go hide, and the other one is slinking down in the seat, tugging the bill of his Illini cap. The one pumping gas slams the lever on the pump, fumbles while putting the nozzle back, and hurries into the store to pay.

As he walks back out of the store, the speakers warn, You two stinkers better behave. There are eyes all over this town, I'll find out if you have been causin' trouble. You hear me!?

By now, I am laughing pretty hard, as the look on their faces was priceless. They both put their seat belts on like good little boys, and off they zoomed in that ratty Ford Ranger. The one named Joshua checked me out when they went past, and I couldn't help but shake my finger at him.

After I got into the store, I found out that the gas station attendant was the Aunt of the kid named Cody, who it turns out just turned 16. This was his first day as a licensed driver, and she couldn't resist the temptation of harrasing him. Poor kid. He should have went to another station!

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Chick update: Maude is down to nine chicks. I don't know what happened, but I am going to start putting them in for the night so that they are safe from hawks and other bad critters.

Signs

2006-03-29T06:43:00.000-08:00

Somehow I find this ironic.

Surprise!

2006-03-28T10:14:00.000-08:00

I was just talking about chickens over at Miz B's after her episode with quail eggs. I, to this day, have never bought eggs at a store. I prefer my eggs to come from happy, free roaming chickens. Growing up, I was always running outside to find eggs for my mom when she needed one more than she had in the fridge for a recipe.

By now, most of you know I grew up on a farm. We had "the layers" - Buff Orpingtons, Barred Rocks, and Rhode Island Reds. All of these breeds have brown eggs, as most of the people that would come buy eggs always wanted brown eggs. Two of these girls were "double yolk" layers, and had HUGE eggs. All of those hen's daughters were "double yolk" layers, too.

Mom also always had Araucanas and bantams, which lay eggs in a rainbow of colors. It was like Easter every day. The eggs might be any shade of pink, purple, green, blue, you name it. Some were even turquoise. We sold a lot of those eggs, mainly around Easter, because they are so much more fun to color.

We also had the bantam "models" - Seabrites, Andalusians, and Cochins, along with several others breeds that looked cool. My favorites have always been the bantam cochins. They have feathers on their feet, and are very cool little birds, considering they are just chickens.

I now live on the other side of the farm from the house I grew up in, in my grandparent's old farm house. Here at my house, I have five bantam chickens. The four hens are Princess, Betsy, Blackie, and Maude. Their handsome rooster is Slick Rick. Yes, I know the names are something else. But they are full of personality, and the names suite them.

I had not been able to find Maude the last few days... but today there she was this morning, setting on the ground next to the shed that is not too far from my house. I thought to myself, That looks weird. So I walked up to her to pick her up to see if she was hurt, and to my surprise, Maude had ten little bitty chicks she was keeping warm!

Aren't they cute! They are so many different colors. One is going to be buff like Maude. There is one black chick, one white chick, two chocolate chicks, one that is going to be reddish, and the other four are going to be partridge colored. Partridge is multi-colored, with their red feathers being penciled in black.

There is still snow on the ground from the blizzard that went through the week after the tornadoes. But these chicks make it seem more like Spring now.

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I have been doing better. Finally ate something last night. I worked from home today, but I didn't get much stuff done except for my deadlines. But I don't care. I forgot about everything for a little bit while I messed around with the chicks. I want to call my nieces over to play while they are on Spring break, but how do I tell a just turned 6 year old and 8 year old what happened? Especially when the 6 year old is just like her Aunt. She reads people and horses just like I read people and horses. She has my gift.

Monday Blahs

2006-03-27T08:59:00.000-08:00

Cried while reading the post over at Shayna's about her Grandmother. I think it hit me hard because of everything I have been through the last few weeks...

Stayed home today from work. Just don't feel well. I am not sure if it from all the commotion this weekend, or if I caught a bug.

Doug's word of the day (Jockey) motivated my post today.

Horses are in my blood. I am beyond obsessed. It consumes me. I am full of knowledge of all aspects of the horse industry, but horse racing is one of my biggest loves. I never understood why, until I found out my sperm donor(aka biological father) is a race horse horse trainer (still haven't met him). But besides that, I had a racing legend that I idolized.

A Hall of Fame jockey lives minutes away from where I grew up. I spent a lot of my childhood at their farm while my mom and his wife rehabbed wild animals. The wildlife was cool, but I would spend every second I could looking at all of the pictures on the wall and picking John's brain about horses. My all-time favorite pick was of John up on one of Joan Crawford's horse after a win at Hollywood Park.

Rotz in polkadot silks. He still looks this handsome.

Called "Gentleman John," John Rotz is known for being very gentle and kind when dealing with horses and people. He rode in over 20,000 races during his career as a jockey, winning over 2,900 races. Rotz never won the Kentucky Derby; however, he did beat THE legend - Triple Crown winner Secretariat. This is a big deal, because Secretariat won 16 of his 21 starts.

Go, baby, go! (Ta Wee and Rotz coming down the stretch to the wire).

The talented Ta Wee with Rotz in the irons.

In the Winner's Circle

Ta Wee was a wonderfully bred mare, with Man O'War on her paternal side and War Admiral on her maternal side. Ta Wee was a half sister to Rotz's favorite mount, Dr. Fager. Back in 1968, Dr. Fager could have beaten any horse by a mile. The only other horse racing freaks would say this about would be Man O'War. Dr. Fager was the only horse in history to be named Horse of the Year, champion sprinter, champion grass horse and champion older male, all in the same year.

Aboard Greek Money, Rotz won the Preakness in 1962. He considers this his career highlight, as this race was a battle to the wire for the lead against Manuel Ycaza aboard Ridan, one of the horses to beat that year.

Rotz was the nation's leading stakes rider in 1969 and 1970. He won the Belmont in 1970 with High Echelon, a Florida bred horse that was a grandson of one of my favorite TB legends, Native Dancer. I have watched this race in black and white on tape, and it was on a sloppy track. Rotz won that race with skill, stalking from the back of the pack, taking the lead after conserving his horse.

In 1973, Rotz was awarded the George Woolf Memorial Jockey Award. Ten years later in 1983, Rotz was inducted into the Hall of Fame.

Rotz and his cutting horse Buzzy give a demonstration for some school kids.

John Rotz still rides horses, but now he chases cows instead of other horses. Cutting horses are his new passion. His success with horses continues on, as he has several champion cutters. But I would expect nothing less out of Gentleman John.

Numb

2006-03-26T10:51:00.000-08:00

Perfectly describes me since Friday night around 8PM. I am numb. Perhaps I should be heartbroken, sad, enraged, distraught... an endless list of words could describe watching two horses that I loved with all of my heart suffer. But there are no words.

Gotta get out of here. Everything I see reminds me of Friday night. It keeps replaying in my mind in slow motion. Eating repulses me. All I want to do is drink, as this makes the images go away. Sleeping scares me, as I relive every moment in sporadic, unorganized patterns until I wake myself up, run to the barn, and cry until there are no tears because it was not a nightmare - it is the evil truth.

This place doesn't sing anything but tragedy. Can't figure out why I can't catch a break. No matter what I do, it seems like life is punishing me. What am I doing so wrong, that they needed to suffer?

Is It Really Friday?!?

2006-03-24T14:52:00.000-08:00

After I glanced down at the heat gun I was grasping, I decided enough was enough. Sternly looking the Bossman in the face, I said, "Don't make me use this." And I was serious.

Why do some people think that others want to join them in their misery? Having a bad day is one thing, but it drives me crazy when people yell and throw things for no apparent reason. Being yelled at for nothing makes my blood boil. Never again will I be a verbal punching bag. After dealing with my dad growing up, I made a promise to myself to not let people drag me into their hell. Go rot by yourself.

What made matters worse was the fact that his daughter is pregnant. Kass is my best friend's little sister, so I am very protective of her. She was on five months of bed rest during her last pregnancy; and this pregnancy is looking the same way. So the last thing she needs is her dad ranting and throwing shit around the shop.

Therefore, I sucked it up and told him if he didn't knock it off, I was going to leave for the day. And today we were SWAMPED at the shop. I didn't even leave for a lunch break.

"If you want to be a big baby and throw a tantrum, go outside and kick your truck tires and cuss. Because Kass and I are sick of your shit. How dare you stress her out! She's prego, and here you are being an ass." Kass smiled, and Bossman's face was shocked.

I think I got my point across, because he stopped. Of course he didn't apologize; but he sure as hell was nicer to deal with for the rest of the day.

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Shayna's post, Sar and the Shoe Store Interview, is a must read. Shayna is witty as usual. There is a point in the interview where Shayna asks Sar about Patrick Swayze. (something about bouncing quarters off his ass...)

Well, I have met Swayze. Out of the celebrities that I have met while showing horses, he is my favorite. (Shatner is my least). And I have watched Swayze show his horses in halter and performance. He also has presented the flag at shows. He is an excellent horseman. Swayze is a very sweet and spiritual man who loves his horses. (Do I have to mention how handsome he is?) He likes Straight Eqyptians, while I prefer Polish bloodlines. His lovely stallion in the pictures is Tammen. They lost him back in April of 1999.

Swayze's horse trainer was best friends with the father of one of the ladies I trained horses for. Her father has since passed on, but his trainer remains like family to her. So I met him several times.

There is a poster of the picture of Tammen and Swayze with his back to the camera in my office. Below the picture it says "Where in the wide world can man find nobility without pride, friendship without envy, or beauty without vanity? Here where grace is laced with muscle and strength by gentleness confined." ~ Ronald Duncan.

And it is signed by Swayze, to me, "A fellow lover and protector of the equine soul."

The weirdest thing about celebrities in the horse world, is that they are no longer the celebrities. The horses are.

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Perhaps I should write a book about my life.

New Addition

2006-03-23T12:01:00.000-08:00

She is smiling she is so happy she has a home!

Somehow I have acquired another Aussie. Goes by the handle Gracie. She is very beautiful, and is just over a year old. She is so sweet, and looks wicked cool with her different colored eyes. Now I will have two dogs with tail envy.

Sadly, I sold the two broodmares I had left today (one was my old QH barrel mare I bought back). And I cried all the way to the bank, literally.

So I am down to three horses; two horses I will never sell, and one that I don't want to sell, but should. A fancy mover, he still has a lot of show years left, and would still make a nice national level horse for a youth. Three national titles are in his resume. This guy deserves more than hanging out in a pasture.

That would leave me with my retired show horse Bubba, from when I was younger, and another gelding, Pride, that I acquired around the time my fiance and I split. These two boys are a part of the family, and will live their lives out being spoiled by me. Bubba is a "lawn ornament" so he hangs around and keeps the pasture mowed. Every once in a while I like to lay on his back while he grazes like I did when I was younger. Since being retired, he has stayed here at the farm while I moved around training. He has several national titles in his resume also - some of those we won together.

Bubba will always stay with my parents; I think my dad would cry if I moved him. And my dad NEVER cries, even at funerals.

Pride, on the other hand, is a riding and driving machine. Riding him is my high - he has so much power and je-ne-sais-quoi. I have such a connection with him. He is the one that will lay down and sleep with me in his stall. His show wins are astounding, and he L.O.V.E.S. to show-off. He has a fire inside of him that makes me forget anything else. He is such a cocky and prideful horse. But so kind.

Now I am on the lookout for a new barrel horse. Most certainly a Quarter Horse. Gonna unbury my Billy Cook and cinch me up a can chaser. Time to go back to my grass roots of rodeos. Although I love them, I don't have any interest in showing show horses anymore. The bad apples ruined it for me.

I am ready to go back to where whoever is the fastest wins. And I like going fast! Turn 'n burn!

Who knew mud could look this sexy!

Me likes them cowboys anyway. I can be myself, and they think it is cool.

Cornfed

2006-03-22T12:54:00.000-08:00

"Heaven forbid that I am just like anyone else."

An odd calmness has fallen over me. I am feeling a lot better today. I haven't heard anything in regards to my friend's case; however she does seem to be doing pretty good considering.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I am doing, who I am, and where I am headed. Today feels like I am at a cross roads. I can be surrounded by people, but I feel alone.

I do however, know for sure I want to move. But I want to be in a smaller town. Definitely country, and south. I'm thinking Tennessee still, or Texas. But I am leaning Tennessee.

************************************************************************************* Small Towns

1) You can name everyone you graduated with (and some of their siblings).

2) You know what 4-H and FFA means. And possibly belonged. (I belonged to both).

3) You went to parties at a pasture, barn, water way, gravel pit, or in the middle of a dirt road. On Monday you could always tell who was at the party because of the scratches on their legs from running through the woods/fields when the party was busted. (See #6.)

This is one of the things a truck bed is for.

4) You used to "drag" Main, or "cruise" around the square (affectionately known as the Squarcle, because it isn't a square really).

5) Your parents would hear about any trouble you got into, because everyone knows you. (Trick is, don't get caught!)

6) You scheduled parties around the schedules of different police officers, because you knew which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't. (I was lucky because my friend's dads were the sheriff, 2 deputys, 2 city kittys, and a state trooper - so we were ok as long as we didn't kill anyone lol).

Getting dirty is so much fun.

7) You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old enough, they'd tell your parents anyhow.)

8) When you did find somebody old enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes, you still had to go out into the country and drive on back roads to smoke them. (Or hang out behind the barn or out in the waterway).

9) You knew which section of the ditch you would find the beer your buyer dropped off. (Better if it was in the snow).

10) It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town. (Diversity)

11) The whole school went to the same party after games, homecoming, prom, and graduation.

12) You didn't give directions by street names but rather by references. Turn by Strickland's house, go 2 blocks to the Holme's house, and it's four houses left of the track field.

13) You wave at everyone that waves, because if you didn't, someone would think you didn't know who they were or accuse you off being stuck up.

14) You couldn't help but date a friend's ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.

15) Your car/truck stayed filthy because of the dirt/gravel roads.

16) The town next to you was considered "trashy" or "snooty," but was actually just like your town.

17) You referred to anyone with a house newer then 1975 as the "rich people."

18) The people in the "big city" dressed funny, and then you picked up the trend 2 years later.

19) Anyone you wanted could be found on the square if you couldn't get ahold of them on the phone.

20) You saw at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town or one of your friends driving a grain truck to school occasionally.

21) The coach suggested you haul hay for the summer to get muscled up. (I never got a choice, my family baled hay).

22) Directions were given using THE stop light as a reference. (Now my hometown has several stoplights...)

23) When you decided to walk somewhere for exercise, 5 people would pull over and ask if you needed a ride.

24) No one got nervous at the sounds of someone shooting, especially if it was deer season.

Guess where this is?

25) Your teachers remembered when they taught your parents/siblings/relatives. They also called you by your older siblings' names.

26) You could charge at any local store or write checks without any ID.

27) The closest mall was 20 miles away (or more).

28) You could go back home to pay for gas if you forgot your money, and they knew you would come back to pay. (It's not like they didn't know where everyone lived).

29) It was normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn mower. (And usually drinking a beer).

30) You've pee'd in a field or in the timber.

31) Most people went by a nickname. (Mine - Red or Mitchel E).

It's Spring?

2006-03-21T10:15:00.000-08:00

Go over and vote for Courting Destiny. Click here now!

Shayna's little one is sick and was admitted into the hospital... please keep them in your prayers.

Shell has provided a perfect poem for my current status.

************************************************************************************* Spring has announced itself with a windy blizzard, just a little over a week after this area was hit by tornadoes. Geesh. Who did we piss off?

At least the snow prettied things up a little.

My horses are starting to shed already, so I went into action. I bundled them up in stable blankets and put them in stalls last night because the wind was howling like a pissed off banshee. I turned them out a few hours ago. They all ran around in a big blur, playing in the snow. I got lost in the moment watching them, it was beautiful.

Thank God all of the horses that were visiting due to the tornadoes went back to their trainers...

Schools are closed, but I knew they would be last night. It helps to have family on the school board. Mom always knows the scoop.

About yesterday's post - My young friend fell asleep on the way from the hospital; so her mom took her home instead of here. Probably was better. She is going to come over and hang out later after she wakes up. This barely 16 year old has proven herself such a brave young soul. I am thrilled that she wants to talk to me, but on the other side of the coin, it is taking everything I have got in me to deal with things. At least now I know why I moved back home. Being here for her was it - it very well may be the most important thing in my life so far.

Makes me wish for the days when trying to see how much gum you could stick in your mouth was important.

After "talking" to a few concerned ones (thanks to all of you), I still couldn't sleep late last night. So I did what I always do - I went out to the barn. My place of solace. Put on my black carhart over-alls which makes me look and feel like a burnt marshmallow, and ventured out in the nasty weather in order to be comforted by my horses. And of course my dog tagged along. He is so loyal.

Tuning my brain out, I took each horse's blanket off and gave them a good brushing, then put their blankies back on. I love my horses - they all tolerated my early morning invasion of their sleep with deep, kind eyes, soft nuzzles, and deep whickers. I then fed them all each a flake of hay, and sat in my one gelding's stall watching him eat. The sounds of horses eating hay is music to my ears. Quite intoxicating. I must have fallen asleep in his stall at some point, and when I woke up, he was laying down next to me. What a sweet heart.

************************************************************************************* It's brainless to assume that making changes to your window's view will give a new perspective ... I think I am realizing this.

Just Breathe

2006-03-20T12:58:00.000-08:00

Anna Nalick

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.
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~Update 6:45PM~ Just when life is getting peachy, it feels like hell again.

Hatred. Absolute hatred is pumping through my veins. Spent late last night and into the ugly, overcast morning holding someone, trying to put band-aids on bullet wounds. Crying out of pain, anger, frustration, fear. Felt guilty as tattered pages of my past tried to overshadow my friend's tragic new chapter in her life. Too many have chapters much like ours. Deep, harrowing passages, kept all too often guarded like a locked diary of a damaged soul. Daylight never sees the darkness; hiding, ashamed. Violated.

Barely 16 years old, she reaches out to me. Someone she knows won't judge her, blame her... Her innocence is lost, stolen by some rat bastard that better hope he can out run me when I finally track his ass down. Be forewarned and nervous.

Reporting it was not an option in her eyes. Rape all too often turns the victim into the accused; something that can feel worse than being raped. She won't tell her parents... which I sadly understand. This pain is all too real to me. Beyond familiar. She knew I would support her and protect her secret. A secret that should have never been hers to keep.

The bruises on her tiny, freckled arms make me want to vomit. I haven't been able to eat all day; although I think that it is influenced by my past as well as hers. This gorgeous girl weighs all of 90 pounds. This will haunt her as it haunts me. Her pain is worse than mine; at least I wasn't a virgin. What she had was stolen. Unreturnable.

Why?!?
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~11:45PM~

She decided to tell her mom and report the rape. Just FYI. Being able to feel like she was not alone made her decide to report it, in hopes that he wouldn't do it again. I am still gonna find his ass...

Two Pots of Coffee And A Handful of Advil Later...

2006-03-19T12:31:00.000-08:00

Please make a trip over to SGT Grey Eagle's to read the touching post When Eagles Soar Together . Her husband (affectionately know as Balding Eagle), posted this after watching his wife board a plane back to Iraq after being on leave. It is a must read...

Another must read on my list today is Shayna's post Forgetful America... . She amazes me yet again, and gives me a reminder that I need to keep my chin up. *Thank You*

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It is a sad day when I am still feeling a little crappy from partying every night from Wednesday to Saturday. I haven't been hungover in about three years, but today it is kicking my ass a bit. This area loves a reason to party, and St. Patrick's Day is a local favorite.

Either I am stupid or I am a glutton for punishment, because I am going to be headed out again. Tonight I am out for more at the Irish. Karaoke, corned beef and cabbage, green beer, and more beads for me to add to my collections. What else could a Cowgirl want? This past week I have acquired thirty beads - my favorites being the ones that glow in the dark. Now that is something to be proud of. *rolls eyes and smiles.*

Last night was amazing. My rocker chick was in high gear, fueled by good tunes, free green beer, and a huge crowd. Wearing green and being female rewarded me with as much free green beer I could handle. So let's just say I was a wee bit intoxicated. But I loved every minute of it.

I "rawked" out til 2AM when the bands hung it up for the night, then this Irish for a week Cowgirl and a certain hunky man hit the jacuzzi for some much needed relaxation. Perfect ending to a perfect drunk.

Picture This Cowgirl Style

2006-03-17T14:37:00.000-08:00

Been tagged by the lovely Shayna. Here are the rules (like I follow rules! I put my own twist on this).

1. Choose a search engine (e.g. Google), click “Images”.
2. Pick 5 random blogfriends.
3. Think of a word or phrase that you feel describes each friend.
4. Do an image search of that word or phrase.
5. Pick an image that makes you say,
“Aha! That’s it!”

Shayna, saw this and thought it was perfect! *displaying "rock out" horns with both hands* You rock!

Shell, I thought you could use a trip to the Pixie Dust Day Spa to unwind! (I'm going to!)

Pia, I won you a guest writer position on Boston Legal... ok not really. But it's the thought that counts.

Sar, I pulled some strings, and got you a date with 24's Jack Bauer! What shoes to wear...

And last but definitely not least, Miz B. Here it is, your much awaited chance to chat one on one with Mark Mulford. I know how much you looooooveee him!

I got myself this while I was shopping. Perhaps it is a little much.

Happy St. Patrick's Day! I get to sing tonight, yeehaw! From 9-1, yowser. I am already having some hot tea with lemon and honey, along with the appletinis from Sar's, so I am raring to go! I am so excited, and a little nervous. I am sad that my friend Liz is sick, but I am happy I get a chance to sing with them! Liz told me to wear comfy shoes. They play music that the majority of people will dance to, like: Mustang Sally, Brown Eyed Girl, Love Shack, Play That Funky Music, and Hotel California. I should be getting ready........eeeeeekkkkk!

Oblivion

2006-03-16T11:15:00.000-08:00

Being farm raised is one of the biggest things I love about my personality. It is at the core of who I am. I absolutely loved growing up on a farm. Provided endless opportunities for learning about life and death, and everything in between. Horses, cattle, hogs, goats, sheep, chickens, ducks, guineas, rabbits, you name it, we pretty much raised it at some point or another. The only thing we ever ate were the eggs from the chickens. Everything else was show and breeding stock. Well, the guineas were just plain annoying. This is Heidi, my favorite goat. Whomever took this picture of me forgot about the goat. My smile is HUGE!

Dawgy Doug inspired me to write today. Or actually, one of my favorite quotes did.

"Ignorance is not bliss - it is oblivion" - Philip Wylie

Everyone has heard the saying "Ignorance is bliss," but the full quote from Shakespeare is "When ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise." To quickly summise, sometimes knowledge is not a good thing if it ends extreme happiness. Perhaps there is a kernel of truth in that. I seriously doubt everyone needs to know everything that happens, as few could deal with the aftermath of its effects. However, this can be a double-edged sword.

Ignorance is lethal when actually used as knowledge. The ability to get the straight truth should be the conviction of everyone. Often only bits and pieces are used for knowledge when it is contradictory to what the entire puzzle of truth is. Honest mistakes are one thing, but to blatantly use false or misconstrued information is horrific, as is basing truth on opinions instead of facts.

Confucius wisely stated that "Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance." I couldn't agree more. Nothing pisses me off more than someone who thinks that they are right when their facts are not the truth. Ignorance is not bliss in this case; it is stupidity. Stupidity breeds mis-representation and spreads stupidity like a disease.

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I nearly choked on my coffee when my mom said this after talking to her sister on the phone, "God, I hate dead people." It was like she said "I hate pickles," nonchalantly. We couldn't help but bust up laughing, as I am sure her brother is laughing at us all dealing with each other. Her brother passed away from his battle with emphysema about two weeks ago, and the family is driving her nuts over the estate. She hates being the oldest sibling, and I am sure my uncle is laughing his ass off with the angels at everyone's stupidity.

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Party at Sar's tomorrow. I'm bringing Twizzlers! (I am sure they make green ones)

Stress Reliever

2006-03-15T13:30:00.000-08:00

There is something beyond relaxing about hacking away at downed trees with a Husqvarna chainsaw. The noise makes it impossible to concentrate on anything else. (Makes me want to do that noise Tim Allen made on "Home Improvement" - more power!)

This flag survived the twisters, even if most of this house didn't.

Found amongst the rubble, this flag is flying in the doorwayof what used to be a home.

Today has just been one of those days. Talked to my friend who is a journalist for a Springfield newspaper, and she is exhausted from covering the story. I know her from showing horses together since we were little lead-line girls. She has spent a lot of the last few days in a bird taking pictures of damage. Ever since I hung up the phone, I have been pondering what Sar said in my comments section.

The fact that you can sigh over the normalcy of whether to go to kick boxing class or not just put MY nerves at ease.
I think it's amazing you found it interesting vs. scary - that's incredible.

Perhaps I am just used to the life in Tornado Alley. It is part of life here, like earthquakes in California and hurricanes in Florida. Tornadoes are uncontrollable, and I respect them for that.

I am the anti-drama queen during a crisis. Panicking is never an option - the military background of my family teaches this at a young age. My dad gave us little room for emotion while growing up. I swear I will never tell my children "I'll give you something to cry about." I love my dad, and he has changed greatly for the better. But there are times I remember that I wish I could forget. His father raised him the same way, but I know better than to repeat the pattern.

I lived to see another day, so I just keep living like I normally do, while stepping over tree branches and thanking God(dess) every time I step outside that my horses are ok.

Moving is sounding so good to me right now. It would be a nice change of pace, and perhaps I can find myself. I am starting to suffocate being back in my hometown. It is most difficult to deal with one's past, if it is continually staring back at you. Oy!

A Must See

2006-03-14T20:00:00.000-08:00

I watched "Walk The Line" last night, and I loved it. Reese Witherspoon was awesome. Not that Joaquin Phoenix wasn't. Something June says to Johnny I have been saying for years. "Got a hitch in your giddy up?" I picked it up from my great grandfather. I usually say it in reference to someone that is having problems with their horse.

Been thinking about making a change in scenery. I really want to move somewhere different. My parents owns land in Tennessee, which I love, so maybe I will go there. I would have to build a house though, because it is just a bunch of land North of the eastern end of the national park. It is such a beautiful place; we always camped there growing up. A four wheel drive vehicle is necessary to make it to the top of the road.

My mom's dad and stepmom live in the country near Gallatin, TN.

My dad's parents lived near Sevierville before they died a few years ago, so we have spent a lot of time down there. Originally, my dad wanted to move to the land when he retired, but I doubt he will now.
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How to make a cowgirl

Ingredients:

3 parts competetiveness

1 part arrogance

5 parts leadership

Method:
Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Serve with a slice of emotion and a pinch of salt. Yum!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com
My competitiveness made me do this lol

See the following new drinks - Shell, SGT Hook, and Shayna.

After The Storm

2006-03-14T14:14:00.000-08:00

Starting to pick some stuff up from the storm, after videoing the damage and getting the go ahead from our insurance guy.

The wind speeds during the storms that went through here Sunday night were in excess of 120 mph. More than 100 tornadoes touched down in five states that night, according to the National Weather Service. Here, there were over 20 tornadoes in a 400 mile path.

Bet they are glad they weren't in this mini-vanThat is one big ass tree to be uprooted

I am not a big fan of eating at McDonald's anyway

Lightning strikes four times!Wow!

Not even prayers saved this church

Nothing constructive is coming to mind, so I think I will keep things short. I have re-discovered green chili thanks to some welcome house guests. The two of them will be staying on the farm until probably this weekend. They are still making fun of me because I keep coffee and other things in the freezer.

Travis is coming home Thursday night. Don't know how he managed that, but I am not going to complain. I already put a request in for a massage.

I am SO tired. A walking zombie; I look like hell. My Illini ballcap has been my favorite accessory. Can't even stress over anything in my life because I am too tired. I think I am going to go tan, because that always makes me feel better. My cardio-kick boxing class is on for tonight, but I am considering not going. But I drink and eat too much not to go, so I'll guilt myself into going anyway. *sigh*

Oh, I did read that "Crash" is being used by city councils in my area as a different form of diversity training. I think that it should be mandatory in schools too. But I digress...

Night Of The Twisters

2006-03-13T16:30:00.000-08:00

One of the culprits
It's tornado season, kiddies! Starting off with a bang, the sky was exciting in Tornado Alley last night. I feel safer in the Midwest dealing with floods and tornadoes versus earthquakes, mudslides, and hurricanes. Must be because I used to sit outside and watch them go by on the front porch with my dad.

Springfield looks like a bomb exploded; there isn't a square inch that hasn't been touched in some way. The entire roof of a Super Wal-Mart blew off. The damage has been estimated at over $10 million this far. A seven county area has been declared a disaster...

The first storm hit my place hard at 8:15PM, and the next one hit at 1:45AM. I haven't heard so much noise in a long time. The wind was fierce and out for blood. It was nearly 80 degrees outside last night, and now it is going to be below freezing soon...

Fun times for this cowgirl. My families farm is ok, just one building is destroyed, and some windows got blown out. Plus lots of other stuff I am not going to bore anyone with. We have power and everyone is alive and in one piece.

I haven't slept yet.

I think this speaks volumes on how bad last night was
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I just heard that prison inmates have been helping to clean up the debris from the tornadoes...don't know how I feel about that.

So You Don't Think Cheerleading Is A Sport...

2006-03-12T14:09:00.000-08:00

The debate over this has ended (well sort of). My state had it's first state finals, recognizing cheerleading as a competitive sport. It's about freakin' time. Ok, brace yourself - I was a cheerleader. In shock? Good, then I am breaking the stereotype. (And you know I just HATE stereotypes).

Anyway, cheering is hard, especially if your squad does more than yell "Go, Fight, Win!" at games and pep rallies. For my high school, you had to be able to do a round-off flip-flop and handsprings to even try out. Tumbling and stunts are difficult, and performing them as a group is no small feat.

Don't think cheering is dangerous? Just ask Kristi Yamaoka, a SIU cheerleader who broke her neck during a routine a few weeks ago.

Adventures In Babysitting

2006-03-12T11:25:00.000-08:00

Somehow I got a wild hair up my ass and invited my dad to go out with all of us to the AC/DC tribute band last night. This takes a lot of patience and guts on my part, as my dad can be quite a handful after he drinks a few. He seems to forget that he is 49 (not 21), and he tends to speak without considering what he is actually saying first. My mom was really nervous about him getting into a fight, because he tends to stay out of what he calls "preppy" bars... In his younger days, he had to replace three doors and a window.

Must not be too preppy there, as I was about knocked over when I opened the door to the restroom.

To my surprise, he behaved (for him anyway) and everyone thought he rocked. I gave everyone strict rules - no buying my dad shots! He was drinking so fast, I was getting him two beers at a time. The bar was so packed that they had four bartenders AND the owner serving drinks. That's a big deal in these parts!

I joked with the owner that I might need to borrow the dolley he uses to bring beer up from the cooler to get my dad out to the truck, as he was quickly getting tanked and reminiscing about the last AC/DC concert that he went to that was so smoky, everyone had no choice in getting a little high. (Those must have been the days!)

My dad was in heaven. He was drumming along and rockin' out at one of our group's tall tables. About every 20 minutes or so, he would say "Thank you so much Sis for letting me have fun!" No prob, Dad! He was in heaven being surrounded by my girls, lol.

I was out dancing with the girls, when Travis grabbed me off the dance floor to let me know that my dad had fallen out of his chair. I panicked, as my dad's heart isn't all that good. Travis helped me find him in the restroom. But it turns out he was ok, just totally wasted. He couldn't walk straight to save his life. I was pleading for him to let me take him home, but he was adamant about staying til the band's last set was over. And then he was being a bear because I refused to feed him anymore beers... (all this time, Travis is right there).

Seriously, I was joking about having to use the dolley, but he was pretty damn close to needing it!

It was so funny being his crutch out of the bar and to the truck. Quite the father/daughter experience. My mom found it entertaining when I turned over her drunk husband to her and left to go have coffee with the good doctor.

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During all of the commotion, I think I realized who has my heart right now.

My Soap Opera

2006-03-11T11:12:00.000-08:00

Since I tried to be constructive in my post TGIF yesterday, I feel alright about posting about my life again.

Oy! I think that I am staring in my own soap - As The Sawdust Turns - inspired by As The World Turns. I just have to like more than one guy at once! Ok, Shayna and Pia, maybe my life is interesting at some level. First, Dr. Travis returns to my life and takes my breath away. Well, now Kris has befriended me. Nothings really happened, but I am finding myself interested. Last night I really connected with him. And damn he can sing AND dance.

You know what they say about a guy that can dance well... (this thought reminds me to tell you that you should read Shayna's post Let's Talk About Sex...Toys, because soon her state of Tennessee might be outlawing use of such pleasures.) Oh boy, did I just say that!? I plead the fifth.

Back to the guy debate - What's a girl supposed to do? They couldn't be more opposite from each other in "type." *le sigh* Why must I always be good!

Travis is on his way down here to visit for this weekend. I am excited, but a little worried. I plan on going out to listen to the AC/DC tribute band and dance my ass off. I have heard them before, and it is always a wild time. EVERYONE packs the house. Travis isn't much for dancing and rockin' out - he usually just sits there and drinks. Which leaves the opportunity to have problems because Kris will be out there in the mix having fun.

Perhaps I will cling to all of my girls and just not worry about it. A lot of kids are home on Spring break, so it could get excitin' tonight. Plus Morgan and my friends Terren and Dallas from school are going to be there. We will be right in front of the speakers the whole time because Dallas is deaf. I can sign pretty good - my twin bro was deaf when he was little due to allergies, and my sister-in-law is deaf. We never have to worry about not being able to hear anything when we go out, because the four of us pretty much sign and read lips the entire time.

As far as what to wear tonight, I think I have the perfect outfit. I am wearing my favorite AC/DC t-shirt, a cute skirt, and my black "hooker" boots (know what I am talking about?).
You Shook Me All Night Long (Live) by AC/DC

This is my favorite AC/DC song.
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Wanna be a Music Highway Idol? Lovely Shanya is holding an open mike over at her website if you are interested in showcasing your talent. Looks like I better get busy cuttin' something...

TGIF

2006-03-10T13:55:00.000-08:00

Drunker Than Me by Trent Tomlinson
I have one particular friend that I think of when I hear this song. Her poor boyfriend, this is his current theme song. Sometimes I think he forgets that he created the monster in the first place. "Drunker Than Me" by Trent Tomlinson cracks me up, and proves that I must be a hick. Country is his rock - he is from Kennett, MO., which is also the hometown of Sheryl Crow.

Ever since Shayna's post , I have been thinking about how diversely intertwined this nation is. Right after 9/11 was the very first time that I can remember in my almost 25 years that this country's inhabitants were so supportive and understanding of everyone. 9/11 was a HUGE wake-up call; it made us all vulnerable together.

The last few days I have been hearing rumblings of stereotypes; whether one is listening or speaking, these stereotypes hurt what is actually at the core of the issue. People jump to conclusions, and become defensive instead of really hearing what is being said. Whether people realize it or not, we are all in this together. The harder that we all struggle with being defined in some category, the further away we are going to be from actually being in a country that is "United."

Traveling all over the country showing horses really taught me a lot more about people than anything. Being a part of the rodeo world AND the show horse world was an adventure because they are polar opposites from each other - if you know anything about horses, then I am sure you know what I am talking about (if not, I can explain as needed).

I am young, and I am sure there are many out there that far surpass me in experiences and knowledge. The one thing that I learned is that pre-conceived notions are just that.

I make sense to myself, but feel free to jump in. Sometimes it is easier to just assume than to put effort into really knowing. Certainly I fall into this trap, but it is something that I make a conscious effort NOT to do because I have been stereotyped my whole life. I am positive everyone has.

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It was a gorgeous day today. So when I got home, I went for a cruise on our farm's Grizzly. I got absolutely covered in mud, but it was worth it. My dad was happy because he was able to take his motorcyle for a spin, so it was a good day after a bad day at work at the homestead.

I am jealous

2006-03-10T01:22:00.000-08:00

Tim McGraw - Live Like You Were Dying

I tend to live by the meaning within this song. It made me cry the first time I heard it. Not that it is a sad song per se - it just reminds me of my favorite uncle that I watched pass away at hospice. He said for me to always live my life like it could be my last day on Earth.

I am beyond jealous that Shayna commented here that she is going to see Tim McGraw AND Faith Hill in June. I've always wanted to see them perform together. They are wonderful people. The McGraws are both a little upset with el presidente right now regarding the clean up efforts from Katrina.

Travis is going to be home Saturday through Sunday night. I am excited, but I am not liking how my focus is off.

I am working on a good post for later today when I get home from the shop. I figured that maybe every once in awhile I should talk about something constructive on my own blog. My life isn't that interesting all the time.

Guess that means I should get a few hours of sleep.

It's Raining, It's Pouring...

2006-03-09T07:28:00.000-08:00

I should still be snoring! (my friend still is). It has been raining buckets here, which is great because I was starting to worry about the crops - this winter has been too dry! I am such a farm girl...I hate paying too much for hay - droughts cut into my pocket!

Gretchen Wilson - All Jacked Up

Wow, last night was an adventure. So I just had to share "All Jacked Up" by Gretchen Wilson. I won backstage passes a few years ago, so I met her when she was on tour with Big and Rich. She was about as down-to-earth as they come. I hope she stays that way.

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My friend Morgan and I went to the Irish and had a large time. Much to my delight, they had LIVE karaoke. OMG I was eating this up. Those guys can play anything - but sometimes they had to use sheet music. If you are new to this blog, you need to know that I would love to be singing, whether in my own band or someone elses. I get such a high from doing it.

Oddly enough, a lot of musicians were there just hanging out. The guys doing the karaoke are members of four other bands, so it was an interesting night, to say the least.

One guy, Kris, I hadn't seen in a long time. He is 33, and plays bass in the band him and his buddies started in Jr High. And they STILL play together. They are not "heavy" like my brothers band, so they get a wider audience. If Travis hadn't came back in the picture, I would have said yes to Kris about going out. *you know what they say - when ya ain't looking, the floodgates open*

The other musicians I didn't run into - they inquired about me at the bar because of my singing. Well, the gal I am calling Blonde Bitch asked about me. Kris warned me about her. I guess they have this little start-up country rock band that is a combo of what was left of two other bands that had a huge falling out over someone sleeping with someone else's wife... oh the drama *rolls eyes.* Well Blonde Bitch asked where I learned how to sing, where I was from, blah blah. She couldn't believe that my twin and I came out of the same womb. She knows him because he did her tattoos - did I forget to mention that my brother owns a tat and piercing shop?

She wanted me to sing with her; at least come and jam with them once. But before I could tell her NO (that bitch is psycho - drama clings to her like horse shit on my boots) a fight broke out over near Morgan. Poor tiny Morgan was sitting in the middle of it looking like a deer in headlights, so I had to go over and save her. She has no clue how to handle herself, and I wasn't about to let them hurt her.

The group got pretty rowdy, and Blonde Bitch ended up being the reason for the fight, as her ex-husband and her new man toy were BOTH in the fight. I didn't want to get in the middle of it, but I was really afraid Morgan was going to get hurt. Bar fights have a tendency not to be aware of their surroundings; dumbasses flock to them like intoxicated flies to sugar water.

Well, somehow I ended up pissing Blonde Bitch off trying to get Morgan back to safety. I don't know if we bumped into her or if it was my uncouth way of telling all of those drunk idiots to get the f*ck out of my way; she shoved Morgan, which set me off.

I am not a fighter, and I always try to diffuse things first. This being said, I grew up a scrapper. I bartended for years, and there are things you just gotta do. Sometimes instinct just kicks in.

The poor bartender (a chick I dubbed the bar waif) was in the middle of the brawl trying to get everyone to leave, and looked like she was being swallowed by the drunken frenzy. Morgan ran outside and called the cops on the cell phone, while stupid me tried to help the bar waif calm the fight down. I probably should have just grabbed the bar waif, but nnooooooo I had to stay.

Let's just say I don't think I will have to tell Blonde Bitch no thanks on her offer to jam with her band. Next time, she'll think twice about fighting. That whole group is barred from three bars all owned by the same guy, and I got offered a job bartending.

So, considering, the night turned out pretty good.

It's Hump Day!

2006-03-08T11:53:00.000-08:00

Cheatin' by Sara Evans

I love Sara Evans; I have seen her in concert 5 times. I am comfortable with my sexuality - so I have no problems telling ya'll she is hot! ~I took the video down, click the popup to see it~
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Check out Shayna's post on Cindy - as always Shayna has this amazing way of motivating others with her talent with words. (I personally want to thank her for sharing her comment section).
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I am enthralled with Waking Ambrose (Doug) and Belle of the Brawl (Sar). Such madness! Love it.
~*UPDATE*~ Something I said was picked in the "Tell Me Tuesday Contest - Who Had The Best Caption?" over at Sar's! Too much excitement for me.
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I am thinking about posting something constructive later because I was so motivated by the comments section over at Shayna's. I kinda burnt my hand with a heat gun today at the shop. So I am not wanting to type much. It's not bad, just ouchy.

BTW - If you are wondering why I am using a heat gun, it makes graphics stick better. The bastard gets hot!

Randomness

2006-03-07T10:00:00.000-08:00

Friendship is the only cement that will hold the world together - other than perhaps the love a mother has for her child. (Right Shayna?) I have had very few true friends in life; sometimes we lose touch, but pick right back up again as if no time ever passed. I am excited, because my all-time favorite gal pal is going to be visiting me tomorrow; crashing at my place. (Tomorrow IS karaoke night at the Irish....)

Travis coming back into my life really caught me off guard. (Who is Travis? Read all those posts below!) I don't think I have caught my breath yet. Now I am seriously rethinking some things...

I really like Bo Bice's song The Real Thing.
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The first words out of my mouth this morning - "Shit! It's froggy outside!" Anyone else say froggy instead of foggy, or is it a Midwestern phrase? It amazes me how I can use profanity to display various feelings. One little word can convey so much.
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Jack Army and Black Five also commented about the Supreme Court's decision on allowing recruiters to be on campus. Gives me some more stuff to digest regarding my previous post. Jack Army especially. I checked out what the ACLU had to say, but like Jack Army, I do not see them getting all up in arms because of all the other things the military sees as disqualifiers in enlistment, like disabilities, etc. My hairdresser (do you think HE is straight) said that he didn't see what the big deal was, as he also thinks that there are bigger fish to fry when it comes to gay rights.
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I got a wonderful compliment from our precious pixie, Shell.

A wise young lady said, "Interesting...perception is the key here."

Me...wise?

I have had several people comment on how weird they are lately. I certainly have weird quoted somewhere in my resume. Re-defining normal has always been a passion of mine. I embrace weirdness, individuality, and quirkiness. Plus a lot of other stuff. Welcome to the randomness. Perception is the key here.

Dreary Monday

2006-03-06T10:35:00.000-08:00

I think that these guys sound promising...but I might be a little biased.
Give them a listen. ~not country~ Update took it down - email me to hear. I'll post more later.

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Disclaimer: I am not a hater of any kind. I am 100% against discrimination. I support my gay friends and others (no I am not gay), and I support free speech, religious freedom, blah blah blah. So don't send me hate mail*

Found this interesting. I agree that recruiters have the right to be on campuses - to me it is like any other business recruiting for "employees." If you don't want to join the military, don't. It's your choice.

While I was in college, the military recruiters rocked - I always visited with them (they were usually cute). As long as they are there to provide information by choice, then I think they should be allowed there. It is not as if they are attacking anyone for who they are. Recruiters are not carnies out to get you to play a game at their booth; they are representing an option that no one is forced to take. It is 100% voluntary.

What I did not like on campus were some of the religious groups (along with others) that would go above and beyond annoying. I remember one time watching an interracial couple being practically attacked crossing the quad. Made me want to slap the hypocrisy out of that particular group. But I digress...

I am still digesting this:

Joshua Rosenkranz, the attorney for the challengers of the law, said that the case called attention to the military policy. "We lost a skirmish in a much larger civil rights battle for the rights of gays and lesbians, which is a movement we are winning," he said.

I am fully aware of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, but I think that there are bigger fish to fry in regards to civil rights, particularly in a larger scale. Maybe because I am from a military background, I understand the policy; or perhaps I accept it because I do not have a choice. Surely there are plenty of employers out there that blatantly discriminate. The military is just a better PR target.

I HATE Not Being Able To Sleep

2006-03-05T23:22:00.000-08:00

Looks like someone in this picture fake bakes a little too much. I'll give you three guesses as to which one is me...hint - I've got that look about me like I ran into an old flame. Come on, it isn't hard ; )The pics are starting to finally come in from the last few weeks.

Too much excitement, I guess.

The feeling remains...even after the glitter fades

2006-03-05T11:22:00.000-08:00

Did you know that REO Speedwagon was originally from my part of the country? They regularly played at a place called the Red Lion, which is located in Chambanaland, home of the Fighting Illini. I love the local underground music scene.This area seems to be pretty good at producing some good musicians. Currently there have been a lot of good indie rock bands flowing through orange and blue country.

Trivia Tidbit: Alison Krauss grew up in Chambanaland as a bluegrass fiddle prodigy. Suzy Boggus grew up in Aledo, which is not far from one of the farms I worked at training horses.

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Need a good laugh? Hearing Doug cackle like a bohemian (Miz B, I presume?) made my day. I absolutely llooooooooveedd this story... listen to him reading it, and you will laugh.

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Last night was quite the night. I was supposed to go out for a wild night out with the girls, but decided that I really wanted to spend time with Travis before he heads back up to play doctor. Probably a wise choice, because I hear the girls ended up getting a hotel room instead of making the 45 minute drive back.

By chance, my brother's band was playing about 20 minutes from my hometown, so we decided to go because Trav hadn't heard my twin play since high school when we would hang out and listen to his buddies try to get their shit together. They were really good (that's my brother!), and I had fun making fun of their so-called "groupies." I seriously need to take my brother shopping, as it seems that his entire wardrobe is black. I love black, don't get me wrong. But isn't life worth wearing color every few weeks?

They were done playing at 11PM, so we got the wild idea to head back home because one of the bars was staying open til 2AM. My brother's friends got some weird looks from the local yocals at this place, as it seemed to be wannabe cowboy night. Ah, the draws of having a mechanical bull in town. Urban Cowboy, anyone?

At first, I absolutely refused to get on it. But they just had to dare me to do it. "What sis, are ya scared? Come on you horse girl! Chicken!"

Siblings...aren't they fun? (I swear, except for music and genes, my twin and I are NOTHING alike). But I love him anyway - even if HE wouldn't ride the bull.

I had never been on one until last night, but I actually had a fun time. Now I know that I have a harder time staying on some of the horses I have trained (the machine tends to stay pretty stationary). Travis was laughing so hard that he about choked on his beer - guess I look pissed when I am concentrating on riding like Ty Murray or Chris Shivers. I got off on my own two feet, handed my glove to the stunned operator, and made my way back to sit with the gang.

One of my brother's friends made my night when he said, "Your sisters got more balls than you do, man." It's sad, but it's true.

Giddy up!

2006-03-04T01:32:00.000-08:00

I just love this picture of a trainer I know. Those spurs look like they could be used for self-motivation. This would only be funnier if the whip was in his hand instead of his back pocket. He is one of the most talented trainers in my breed of horses, yet he put a lot of effort into staying on that little piece of metal. Ride 'em cowboy!

Part of the job training horses is going to horse shows. Showing also has the motto of the Army - Hurry Up and Wait. Things are either busy and hectic making sure the stall curtains and tack rooms are set up, horses are getting tacked up on time, clients are dressed in their show clothes, and making sure everyone knows where they need to be when so that they make the gate for their classes. But sometimes there are big lulls in the show when no one in your training barn has anything to do.

Therefore, you create you own fun; getting motivation from some of the trainers having their own wet bars in client lounges. These people pay a lot of money to show their horses, so the least we can do is insure that they have fun doing it. Schmoozing and boozing is also part of being a trainer. Babysitting is too, as the aforementioned clients tend to forget that they might want to be able to get ON their horse - I've seen them try to get on, only to keep going on over to the other side. (Shakes head).

Sometimes declaring war on a neighboring trainer and their clients is the most satisfying. This can be done with a water fight, or perhaps rearranging all of their pictures and flowers. One of my personal favorites was during one of the biggest, most prestigious shows of the year. Someone (names withheld due to security reasons) put bath bubbles in another barn's water fountain used in their landscaping around their stalls. Bubbles were everywhere.

The all time best prank I participated in was when I was in high school. Several of my horse show friends and I had decided that since it was our last year of showing as youth exhibitors, that we should pull something off that everyone would be talking about still when we had our kids showing horses. So we put the show manager's golf cart in a manure dumpster. I know... sad.

He did it to himself for always complaining that he dealt with shit all day.

I thought maybe I should elaborate a bit about what I do to feed myself now that I am not training horses. I live in what used to be my great-grandparents place (I never knew them) - I can look out the window and see my parent's house. It was willed to my dad, and he has kept it to rent out. Luckily for me, it opened up the first part of January. I only have to pay my utilities. My parents decided to let me live in it for nothing in exchange for painting the walls, at least for now.

Currently, I work for my best friend's dad at his graphics shop. He bought a printer in the early 90's so that he could put the graphics on his own race cars, and ended up quitting farming because business was too good. I have helped him off and on; I absolutely love it. He pays cash every Friday, so I can't complain.

I have total freedom as long as I get things done on time. I work odd hours and I have no set schedule. I get paid per design I create or "tweak,"and per hour for everything else. I have his program on my computer, so I can work on things at home if I want, take it to the shop, and print it.

I design signs/graphics, cut out graphics, answer phones, and flirt with the customers that come in. I swear, he should start charging for coffee and add some rocking chairs. Somedays I feel like all they do is come in to look at my ass while I am working. Maybe I will put a tip jar next to the coffee pot.

One day I might be putting the graphics on a squad car, and another I might be putting a trucker's name/company on his rig. Bossman and I are firm believers in using only reflective material on the squad cars - they practically glow in the dark.

There is always an ambulance, firetruck, squad car, boat, or race car in the shop being worked on. Everyone who is running for a political office has been ordering TONS of signs, especially those running for sheriff. I have been putting together signs for Bowl For Kids Sake for the past two weeks; three different counties worth.

I might bitch about being back in my hometown, but everytime I see a city vehicle I smile because those are my designs! Our work is everywhere - on contractor's trucks, store windows, bumper stickers, you name it.

I think my favorite part about the job is being able to lose myself in it. Quite the sight I am, singing at the top of my lungs with the radio while putting what amounts to fancy electrical tape on stuff. Fun times!
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I had a lot of fun tonight. This post I already had typed up so that I could quickly post it when I came home. Travis is here, so I don't want to be on here long. I'll fill you in on the rest after Trav and I get back from having breakfast with his mom and dad. If you emailed me, I will email you then too while I am working on some new projects.

The Good Doctor

2006-03-03T13:10:00.000-08:00

Come A Little Closer Baby by Dierks Bentley is playing right now. How appropriate.

Come a little closer, baby

I feel like lettin' go

Of everything that stands between us

And the love we used to know

I wanna touch you like a cleansing rain

Let it wash all the hurt away

So come a little closer baby

I feel like lettin' go

I want to thank everyone for their support. It is amazing how so many awesome people pepper the country side.

Here goes the much awaited ending to As The Sawdust Turns. I tried to finish it last night (early this morning really), but I was too tired. Or something. Besides, this last part deserved more thought than my ramblings.

As I sometimes do when I go out at night, I left my backdoor unlocked. Ah, the glory of living in the country. It makes it a lot easier than fumbling with my keys. Besides, I doubt many people would get past my dog (who was THRILLED to see Travis, even after all of these years).

After Travis carried me in the house, placed me on the couch, and kissed my forehead, he headed into my kitchen.

"Where's the coffee?" he asked me, filling up the pot with water. Always the gentlemen. I got up, handed him the coffee out of the freezer, and started towards the dishwasher for two coffee cups.

"Sorry. I couldn't help myself. I hope I didn't..." he looked at me nervously, as I interrupted him.

"Overstep your boundary?" I handed him the coffee cups. "No. It was nice, I'm just a little shocked." And I was. Scared shitless really. I had to keep reminding myself to breathe. I am not supposed to be an emotional person, and I was standing there next to this gorgeous man - in emotional overdrive. But of course I had to play it cool.

"Shocked? That we ran into each other after all of these years, or because there is still something between us. I felt it - you can't tell me that you didn't..." he looked at me with his piercing eyes while we were praying to the coffee maker God. We locked eyes for a second, and then I had to look away - I didn't know what to say or how to say it. So I split what was in the coffee pot between us and sat down at the kitchen table.

He sat down across from me, took a sip of his coffee, and just looked at me.

"What?" (I am way too defensive sometimes).

"You have something...an eyelash...here." He reached over and touched my right cheek. This moment was in slow motion. Caressing my cheek. My heart was going to pound right out of my chest. A shiver went down my spine. Damn, I hate how that happens.

That touch did it, I couldn't help it. I spilled."I don't want to have you back in my life, just to see you leave as quickly as you came in. My heart can't take it. What do are we doing? How can we make this work? We are hours apart, I am trying to regroup, and you are busy with your last year of medical school. How can we do this? What are we doing? Damn it Travis, why now!? Why show up now!" I looked at him like he contained the answers to the world. He is used to, and likes, the personality that explodes out of this cowgirl. Travis just smiled.

He stood up, grabbed the coffee pot, and refilled our cups. "We have all night to talk about it, and the rest of ours lives to figure it out." Those words confirmed it, I was in trouble. I couldn't run away from it now, my legs had officially turned to jello.

We stayed up talking for about another hour, and I couldn't help but start to yawn. It had been a long night, but we had came to an agreement that we were going to try to figure out a way to see each other. We were going to try to make this work, whatever "this" is. He will be finished with school at the end of this semester, and taking a job about 45 minutes from our hometown. We'll see how things pan out, and take it day by day. But I was getting tired, and tired of talking.

"Trav, I am heading to bed," putting my cup in the sink. "I can take you home, or you can just come to bed with me." Did I just say that. Damn. I swear, when I do something its all or nothing. What can I say, I'm weak.

I'm going to stop the story here. I will leave it to your imagination. What happened was so amazingly beautiful. The most perfect experience I have had in my 24 almost 25 years. I didn't think I would ever feel like this. I didn't think that I deserved to feel - well, I don't know how to describe it. Maybe there aren't any words for it. But I am sure some of you know what I am talking about.

We went out for breakfast after that night (I have already heard gossip about it, lol), and I was in shock. I could -gasp - marry this man.

As the sawdust turns...

2006-03-02T17:17:00.000-08:00

I would love to post something of me singing. Guess that would entail me recording it. I've never done that before (posting it), but I am game. Help me, Shayna, oh talented one!
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Aw... aren't we cute! I look like such a baby. We look so proud of our little Gatorade love-child. I always loved his mop of hair. This pic is from my freshman year. Geesh, he makes me look short (I'm 5'8). See the strawberry blonde hair! I think this was at a regional track meet where his relay won his 4 X 200, hence the tent in the background and the medal around his neck.

This eye-candy and I dated a LONG time, and decided to split up the summer before my Senior year, as he was headed to Stanford. Stanford! WTF Stanford! No way in hell to stay together, so we had a fun summer and said our goodbyes. I figured that I would never see him again.

I love this picture - I actually look happy.

This guy was my first REAL relationship. My first, well, you know ; ). Probably the first and last boyfriend I ever trusted and was 100% myself all the time. He was the only one I allowed to console me during one of the worst times in my life, which I will post about some other time, thanks to our dear Shayna making me think. Perhaps tomorrow after a few pots of coffee.
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Now that I gave you some info explaining Travis and I, I want to let ya'll know that I am slightly inebriated. I just got home. I apologize, but I felt like I better post something or Shell would kill me for leaving her hanging. I went out for my buddy's birthday, and I honestly am still feeling it (totally buzzing, and NO I didn't drive). He DJ's karaoke at some of the bars, so of course I had to go out and play. Please bear with me - I promise I will have some good pictures to post after my other friend emails them to me tomorrow. We were dancing on the bar; quite the night. Even the bartender was taking pictures.
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Flashback to the karaoke contest Wednesday night. (Again I apologize for this post - drunken tiredness is not good for this cowgirl).

I was announced the winner of the contest (yipee f-ing skippy), and after getting to talk on the radio (they made a big deal about it after someone told them I was in the ARNG), I tried to hide on a barstool against the wall on the end of the horseshoe shaped bar. This never works, but for some stupid reason I do it anyway. Old habits die hard, ya know.

Anyway, I am sitting there on that barstool, engrossed in my third beer, minding my own business. Perhaps a little overwhelmed.

"You waiting for me, Red?" says a familiar voice over my right shoulder. Could this be... no way... Travis?! I turned my head, and there he stood. Stoic. Suddenly, my heart fell in my stomach. I couldn't believe it. But no one says Red to me like he did.

"Travis!" I exclaimed, jumping off my barstool into his arms. Oops - again, old habits die hard. But I had to touch him and make sure I wasn't dillusional, or drunk. He even smelled the same.

It turns out that he was home because his grandfather had passed away. He couldn't stand being cooped up at home with his mom and dad, so he headed out to see if he could find some people he knew. He has been busy; he is in his last clinical year of med. school at UIC. Yep, my first love is a Dr.! (Paging Dr. Travis...). My heart is skipping a beat because he is in the Midwest.

We did the usual awkward small talk, noticing that neither of us had rings on our left hand. You know, all of that weird I am scared out of my mind shit. The entire time, all I could think about was kissing him. Even after all of these years, I just wanted to kiss him. We kept talking about where we had been, and what we had been doing, but all I could think about was kissing him.

I don't know why, but I invited him back to my place because it was too noisy at the bar to really talk. An innocent invitation; honestly. Country girl's honor. He had gotten a ride to the bar, so I told him I would take him home when he wanted to go.

Although we had both changed since last seeing each other, it was like it used to be. Comfortable. Eerie. Exciting. On the drive there, we are chit chatting away about what everyone else is up to; oblivious to the fact that we had not talked in close to 8 years.

In no time we were at my place, I turned my truck off, and started heading inside. I turned around to warn him about a step up onto the pathway of stepping stones (no true sidewalks in the country), and I bumped into him because he had been following me really closely. He caught me, and I absolutely melted. My mind is reeling; I don't know what to do. How do I react? Damn, I wish my brain would stop thinking sometimes.

Then he kissed me. Softly, inviting. Scared.

He just had to do that. Now what? What is he doing! What am I doing? Shit!

By now I am shaking because it is cold outside - or maybe because of all the emotions in active turmoil with my brain. Trembling; know what I mean?

Dr. Travis PICKED ME UP and carried me into the house, placed me on the couch, and kissed my forehead gently.
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To be continued tomorrow... as the sawdust turns.

Mission Complete

2006-03-02T15:01:00.000-08:00

Ain't he cute! I found him as a skinny little kitten at a horse show when I was in seventh grade, so he is about 12 now. What a character he is.

That is my red cowboy boot in the picture. Yep, my favorite shit kickers.
Red is my color - vivacious like me. ; )

Last night was a wonderful night, in several ways. Amazing, actually. Things really do come full circle. But I'll talk about the karaoke contest first. I'm going to make two posts, this night was so big for me! Eeekkk (squeals like a school girl)! You'll understand... keep reading.

This karaoke contest I was in (results coming - I promise) is all over the local radio stations (country, rock, oldies, hit list/pop), created to get people out to the bars beyond their usual turf. You qualify for the BIG contest by winning one of the preliminary contests. That contest is near the end of March. The top prize for that is $1500 and recording time in a studio, along with other crap that I don't care about, except maybe being a guest DJ.

It was held in a bar on the outskirts of my hometown, about five minutes away from where I live hidden by empty corn fields. If I am driving, that is. If I really want an adventure, I take a four wheeler, because I can cut through the fields. No redneckin' it, had to have nice hair; therefore I drove my truck (big crew cab diesel). Still country.

It started at 9PM, and I was there early enough to drink a beer and my newly appointed favorite shot before hand. I'm glad I did, because this place was overflowing with people. Fantastic way to tell how you did, because if you rocked, they shook the walls of that little low ceiling place. You know it is packed when the trusted locals (uh hum, me) get their own beers and put the money in the register. But I draw the line at dumping the ash trays.

Anyway, there were three rounds, and we had no clue who(m) was actually judging this thing. The first round, I was able to pick my song - "Just Might (Make Me Believe)" by Sugarland.

I used to believe in us

When times got tough

But lately I'm afraid that love is not enough

Nailed that - I sing it all the time. I was shocked by how many people were there singing! Most of them were ok, some absolutely sucked (shot...someone get me a shot!), and then there were about 5 others that had some chops. Hmmm... 10 people picked for the next round, including me.

Ding. Ding. The judges picked the next song - I got "Jesus Take The Wheel" by Carrie Underwood. I had never sang that for karaoke before, but did just fine. At least all of the people there knew THAT song. It let me show off my voice, so I was happy. Four others and I make it to the final round.

Round three - ding, ding. This time the other contestants pick your song. Oy! And I am going first, so I do not have time to think about what I get assigned. Well, I think these people thought all I could sing was country (hehehehe). I am sure they were hoping I would bomb singing.... "Fall Behind Me" by the Donnas! (Believe me, I tried really hard to keep my shit eating grin hidden).

You're gonna fall behind me
You're gonna cry and beg for mercy
'Cause you're not ready and baby
You got nothing on me!

Ok, I'll quit toying with you and tell you I won. Got $200 bucks and get to be in the big shindig. Goody. Now I have to figure out what I am going to wear. (I am sure one of you are thinking, clothes - dumbass, right?) Perhaps some leather and lace?

I honestly didn't think I would win. The bigger contest is a lot harder.

But the best part of the night was running into the guy I dated all through high school, Travis. Or should I say Dr. Travis. We split up after the summer before his freshman year in college and my Senior year in high school, and I hadn't seen him since, or given him another thought really. I didn't realize until last night (or this morning) how much I had loved this boy... er, man. To be continued in another juicy post.

As the sawdust turns...