Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Two More Days Til Friday

Appropriate bumper sticker for a member of the manure movers of America...I am a proud member. Right Minka?

Life has been precipitously pulling at me to stay put here in Cornland. Bree and her family have me feeling so re-newed. And loved. Which makes me think I should love myself. I am still thinking about the job in Georgia...but I don't know if I want to run now. Because that was what I was wanting to do. Runaway from myself. And that is impossible to accomplish.

But sometimes alcohol helps. (Editor Cowgirl's note - please don't take this as me being an alcoholic or something...I'm not. Just saying that going out sometimes is my way to turn the rest of the world off. Ok, I feel better. Continue reading.)

Jesus, Take The Wheel by Carrie Underwood

Reading Shayna's post reminds me why I do believe in God, even if I have had my battles with the hypocrisy and commercialism of religion and churches. Life has flashed before my eyes, leaving me thinking that this was my last moment on Earth, to be saved by something greater than chance. And most of the time, I will share, involved horses.

I have a sign that says "Never ride faster than your guardian Angel can fly." That's a saying that I recollect hearing when I was knee high to a grasshopper. I always say a small prayer to myself everytime I step on to a horse for the first time; and I also thank my God when I place my feet on the ground under my own accord.

When I don't, I cuss like a sailor. Something that is not so good to do in front of clients. But it happens. Then they usually die laughing.

Riding horses is a spiritual thing. I don't ride to control, I ride to connect souls. Call me weird, or whatever, but I am.

Horses have been my saving grace, despite the close calls. Many times they are MY Angels. And sometimes I am theirs. Anytime I have a colicky or sick horse, I say a prayer. I have spent my life praying, because sometimes that's all I can do. Without that faith, without hope, there is no way I could have perservered during trying times.

My views of religion and spirituality are skewed; I have touched on that briefly while blogging. It's hard to explain, but perhaps also doesn't need explaining.

Speaking of horses, seems I am the "go to" girl for taking to peruse horses for sale. Probably because I am stupid enough to climb on anything. Plus, I am usually cheap labor; right now I'll go if you buy me breakfast/lunch/dinner according to the time frame and a Dr. Pepper for the ride there.

An older lady friend of mine wanted me to try out an OTT TB (off the track thoroughbred) that was being reschooled to be a hunter/jumper. She is looking for a "step up" horse for her granddaughter. He's cute, but needs some work. Needs to learn to use his back, and needs some "biting" work to develop his hindquarters and teach him to drive off his motor instead of pulling himself around with his front legs.

He passes...but my suggestion is training. Could be a sharp horse, but he needs some groceries. For the money, he is worth the risk. His front legs have been "fired"; pin firing is done on mainly racehorses when chronic inflammation happens, like shin splints. But he is sound, so he's good to go. Five bucks says he will end up here...


Blogger BarnGoddess said...

Like I told our friend mutual friend Brian over at truthisfreedom today, horses have always been my therapy. Ive been to a dark place a time or two in my 37 years of life, and horses have always saved me, usually from myself. Always follow your heart..

2:25 PM  
Blogger Miz BoheMia said...

Wow! You are back and WHAT A BLOGGING DYNAMO! Forgive my absence! I have been teaching away as well as playing receptionist to the Loverboy's patients and running around with kids and the like!

The Derby looks like it was fun and ooooweee! Love the pic of you hotties! Sizzlin'!

Love the picture of the corn and am so glad you saved the cute masked little guy!

Which brings me here... updated finalmente! I love hearing you speak of your work and living the life of a sexy and fab horse trainer vicariously through you! You are amazing and if Bree and her family love you so it is because they know a good thing when they see it so yes, do love yourself!

Hey.. heads up! I have a new post up! Wanna be first? ;-P

2:36 PM  
Blogger Minka said...

Hey there. Loved this post and can relate. I am passioante about horses, not a particvularly amazing rider, but put me on horseback and I am happy. Just me , the horse and the wide icelandic landscape. A quiet, chilled and reflective time.
And it felt lovely to see my name in your post...lovely to have you back!

3:19 PM  
Anonymous shayna said...

Music is my therapy and my spiritual being seems to come out through song... It is my passion and my healing...

I really never listened to the words of Carrie Underwoods song before... WOW... I did live that song yesterday!

9:35 PM  
Blogger brian said...

Morning Cowgirl,
Finally a subject I am well versed in, running away. Being the expert, since I have run away from everything possible in the past, jobs, family, friends, potential lovers;would I trade where I am today, for where I could have been yesterday. No.

Let me point out a few things to the men out there. When a women you care about mentions things in her life, she does not want a man to "fix" it. She does not want a plan of action, like a playground football play;go long, and at the swing set, hook left and I'll hit you.

She wants to communicate. Scary word, huh. It gets worse, she wants to communicate with passion and intimacy! OMG!!

So, cowgirl, let's communicate.

Someone offers you a highly paid job, in a paradise of your choosing; the only kicker is that you can never see, touch or ride a horse again for the rest of your life. That's not what you want?

Ok, you can have the same job, same location and work with all the horses you want. The catch? You can't ever see your twin brother again, or your family or friends. Still not what you want?

How about all of the above, see the people you care about the most as often as you want. However, you can never again feel a lover inside you, no husband, never your own children to teach to ride. Do we have a deal yet? No?! Wow! You are tough, sounds like you want it all.

And why not? Other people have it, why not you. Is running away this time going to get you closer to your goals, or futher away? You have alluded to past hurts and traumas as some of the reasons for the distrust and withholding of love from others as well as from yourself. Know this cowgirl, I have been there, as I said yesterday, I choose now to look back at my demons and tell them, "Yes I see you around, I know you want to hurt me, I know you want me to hurt others, but I will not let you win."

I will always be here for you. Brian

4:20 AM  
Anonymous pia said...

Think religion and spirituality can be one and the same, or very different

No running away isn't an answer because we can never escape ourselves, but sometimes it lets people see things more realistically

It's always great to have a family of choice--and Bree and her family sound wonderful for you

My posts have been incredibly depressing lately but they've allowed me to work out many issues

Used to be walking on a very hot beach for endless hours did it--but once I began seriously writing only writing could

10:37 AM  
Blogger Jake said...

An insightful post cowgirl...

Here is a quote for you, and I have another that you reminded me of when you were writing about prayer, but it's too long for here. I'll post i on mine for you.

"About Jesus Christ and the Church, I simply know they are one thing, and we shouldn't complicate the matter."
-St. Jeanne d'Arc

8:17 PM  

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