Sunday, April 02, 2006

The Right to Shake That Ass

Check out Coop's post (cross posted at BIO) about rape, kicked up by alledged rape at Duke. She is a very talented young woman that has sparked a debate on her use of the phrase "culture of rape."

Pia of Courting Destiny also posted at BIO "how women have the right to walk the streets without listening to men talking about their tits."

This is what this cowgirl had to say about it over at Wonderland Or Not :

Culture is no more positive than it is negative in the modern day use of the word. It is a word used to define a certain time and place, including behaviors and values of a society. So obviously it is suiting because that is the world we live in.

If it sounds too vulgar or strong good. Because it is. That is the point.

I am outraged that this societys first response to a rape is that they deserved it or they brought it upon themselves. No one deserves to be raped.

But I would make an exception for those that commit rape. I hope they drop their soap.

Honestly, I have a hard time thinking that getting raped is a severe enough punishment for rapists.

I briefly touched on rape a few weeks ago when my 16 year old friend was raped. This sweet angel did not want to report it because the rape culture that we are surrounded by does make the victim the accused. It was their fault for dressing provocatively or because they were shaking their ass on the dance floor. They were asking for it.

Bullshit. Every female has the right to shake her ass, bump and grind, and be comfortable with herself and her sexuality without the fear that she is going to be raped for it. Because no means no. Just because she is female and a man wants a piece of ass doesn't make it yes, no matter what.

Who is to blame for this culture of rape? Society? Parents? Pop culture? Religion?


Anonymous pia said...

I'm a bit blogged out on the subject of rape

Think parents have to be so careful about what words they use when talking to their children

Calling a boy "little man" and then accusing his behavior because "it's what a boy does" is just wrong, or so I think

5:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your right I like to see a Lady in skin tight jeans walk past me or in a short dress with long legs and showing some cleveage or no bra. But just because I look doesnt mean I want to jump her bones and Rape her and she is NOT ASKING FOR IT EITHER. Any woman has the right to say NO. Lets STOP. Pick your men more carefully and take a self defense class or carry a some type defensive weapon. Way to go Cowgirl.

6:02 PM  
Blogger Rude1 said...

You nailed it again Cowgirl! I don't understand how we as a society; the most advanced culture in history; can't seem to grasp that simple, basic concept. It boggles my mind. I still say "public hangings" for rapists and murderers.

Oh, and the whole "boys will be boys" BS...NOT the way I was raised. Real men are raised to respect women. And I'll be one of the first to kick the shite out of anyone who doesn't.

Talk to you soon!

7:07 AM  
Blogger Cowgirl said...

Pia - I think parents have a lot of responsibility in teaching their children how to respect themselves and others.

Anonymous - Thanks! It shouldn't be necessary for someone to take a self-defense class or carry a weapon. But since the danger is there, perhaps we should be teaching self-defense in schools instead of physical education.

There is no way I would be caught dead walking down the street with no bra. No No No.

Notsorude1 - Thank you for you respect; please keep spreading it.

I kinda like the idea of castration. But it is hard to do when so few men are charged with rape, let alone found guilty.

Ya know, I wish we were back in the day when horse thieves were hung. But then I would miss all of the modern conviences.

12:43 PM  
Blogger Miz BoheMia said...

Well put my friend. Well put. I have a post up on it and is a subject that forever enrages me. Hopefully spciety will soon get a friggin' clue!

6:56 AM  
Blogger Saoirse said...

I think the rape culture has crumbled quite a bit as far as a woman asking for it or deserving it. What culture does your friend come from that taught her this? No offense intended.

Yet the thought comes from somewhere. Shame is an inhibiter as well. Victims automatically blame themselves. It is natural. Not right, but natural. In some ways mistaking blame for responsibility. I was out too late, etc. Yes, I was out too late but that doesn't excuse this person who harmed me.

Society. Are limits and boundaries being taught or is it the skys the limit? The sky is the limit. With the culture of f-buddies, rainbow parties, etc. Encourages people, especially young people whose brains are stil being formed. To see each other not as human beings with feelings, but disposable playmates. A friend is a? Sexual playmate or someone we see above that? Bodyparts flash across a t.v screen, enabling the ideal that they are not feeling entities, but parts. To be used and abused. Which can be medically altered or removed altogether.

Then there is the culture of everything is free, no work involved. Plus, give it to me now, I am not waiting.

If you don't mind my writing as well. The perpetrator could be a victim himself. The chain of abuse. My father sexually and physically abused me for as long as I can think back. It was only when I realised he was actually treated worse, that I was able to even begin to forgive. 41 years later we are father and daughter.

There are many facets to this crime.

The most important. Let her know would you? {I am sure you have but from me to her a survivor.} People love her. She is not ruined, dirty or shamed. She is and always will be a beautifull person. He has not touched her inner self. Her spirit is not tainted. Never let these perpetrators take over our lives. Because they have a tendency too stay long after the crime is over. If we let them.

God Bless~~

12:14 PM  
Blogger Cowgirl said...

Saoirse - First of all, not being a regular reader of my blog, you wouldn't know that I too am a survivor. And I am fully aware that most rapists have also been abused, but that is no excuse for it. PERIOD. I don't get to run around doing bad things because I was abused as a child or because I was raped as a young woman. SO I have ABSOLUTELY no fucking compassion for rapists. Secondly, I think that society blames the victim before the victim ever blames themselves. I certainly never blamed myself, and neither did my friend.

That being said, I am sorry to hear that you too were a victim. Thank you for your kind words in regards to my friend.

1:23 PM  

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